The counterattack of ordinary girls: winning high-level men is nothing more than these 3 tricks-chloeaktas.com

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The counterattack of ordinary girls: winning high-level men is nothing more than these 3 tricks

time：2023-03-26 13:41:51 source：chloeaktas.com author：Graduate girl

The counterattack of ordinary girls: winning high-level men is nothing more than these 3 tricks

I once received such a story in the background: a girl and her boyfriend have been in love for ten months, have been to the other party's house twice, and feel that the other party's parents may not like her very much. However, she has never communicated with her boyfriend. First, she is worried about putting pressure on the other party, because she knows that her boyfriend is very family-oriented and very afraid of conflicts. She is afraid that once a conflict is revealed, her boyfriend will be given "multiple choice questions", as if to sow discord. The second is her pride. If you mention "Do your parents dislike me, how can I win the favor?", it will appear that she is "chasing children". Moreover, she and her boyfriend usually get along well, and she can feel that the other party treats her with respect, care and going on. It was this peace of mind that made her feel that the problem could be resolved slowly over time. She and her boyfriend come from the same place, with similar education and work, and their family situation is frank with each other in the early stages of their relationship. Although it didn't cross the class, the other's parents' possession of social resources was several orders of magnitude higher than her family's non-system. Until recently, her boyfriend couldn't hold back, and when other conflicts broke out, he shook out the problem that his parents were always dissatisfied with the career of the girls' parents. Moreover, her boyfriend also said that she did nothing before, only lived in the moment, enjoyed love but did not take responsibility, and did not think about how to start a family in the future. But when she proposed to face it together, she was rejected, saying that it was useless to communicate with her parents now, and the two ended up hastily. There are many reasons for breaking up in a relationship. Some people have long-term lack of tacit understanding due to incompatible personalities. To the point of no return; some people are confused by rhetoric, but after a long time, they can distinguish between true feelings and falsehoods; ... The most helpless among them is that when they see victory in the relationship, the other party's Parents incarnate as the referee and say: You have fouled! But is cross-class love really difficult? 01 Why do feelings change when they say they change? Many couples are accustomed to regard the opposition of their parents as the ultimatum of love, but the truth is that love is revealed in its true form under the opposition of the parents. Take the above story as an example, why do feelings change when they say it? From the perspective of [Mission Psychology], our life has three dimensions: the first dimension is survival, surviving, and seeking safety; the second dimension is life, living well, and seeking development; the third dimension is life, living clearly, Seek meaning. Everyone's life is lived from one dimension to another. In the first dimension of life, that is, the dimension of survival and reproduction, there is no so-called love, it is a matter of choosing a mate and forming a team. The relationship in the survival period is essentially an exchange, not love. True love and true intimacy are produced in the second dimension of life, that is, from the survival period to the life period. what is love? Love is intimacy. The real intimacy is built on the basis of emotion and reason. Mutual understanding, mutual appreciation, mutual trust, not only understanding each other at the cognitive level, but also accepting and connecting with each other at the emotional level. Some people may ask: "Is it not worth having love in the period of survival and without money? Or do ordinary people not deserve love?" Of course, everyone deserves love. Love is something we should pursue in our life, but it has a logical sequence. 02How to grasp love? When choosing a mate, rather than waiting for the other party to investigate your own system, it is better to take the initiative to reshape your own three views and upgrade your own cognition. First, figure out what you're doing. Don't pretend, don't deceive yourself, and don't pretend to be a "moral archway" for yourself. Taking the above story as an example, what does "not pretending" mean? That is, if you just want to enjoy a temporary relationship, then it is okay to fall in love, not to talk about the responsibility of marriage. By enjoying love and relationships, you can also grow slowly on this path. Of course, it is also possible to talk about a series of issues such as team formation, class, integration of assets, parental care, and family circumstances. But you can’t both want to counterattack in life, want to get benefits in choosing a mate, and don’t want to pay the corresponding price. Second, understand the most basic logic of team formation. In a stable long-term relationship, in terms of survival and reproduction, both parties must be a relationship of equal value. If your own material conditions are insufficient, and you really want to be with the other person, you can make up for it by providing emotional value. If the parents of the other party see that their son has become a better person after falling in love, and the son's girlfriend is also generous, after marriage in the future, they can also be a woman who cultivates both internal and external, taking care of their own family internally and externally. They can bring their family to the next level, or at least hold their positions. The family style is very positive, and the parents of the other party will also be assured and supportive. But if you just want to be like a little princess, feel that the other party's care and respect is not enough, and feel that you are so proud that you don't even want to be on the pole, you will definitely not be able to answer this question. Therefore, if you really want to counterattack, there are three ways: 1) Use the strategy of being a big heroine, and rely on your own efforts to make a lot of money by starting a business or becoming a company executive to make up for the gap left by the parents’ generation. 2) Use the strategy of helping each other, and work together with your partner to help each other to achieve a counterattack in life. 3) Use the team strategy to complete this goal by teaming up with a boy who is higher than your class. But the part that the other party is higher than himself must be made up for by his own efforts, otherwise the relationship will be unbalanced. Unbalanced relationships are hard to be happy and long-lasting. If you don't want to rely on yourself to start a business and work hard, and you don't want to pay in the process of forming a team, you obviously can't hold love. Third, respect family heritage. Respect exists between men and women, and equality also exists, but equality is equality at the level of personality, not the equal distribution of high-quality resources such as class level and wealth. Moreover, we have to face the truth: from the reform and opening up to today, the hard work of many people is actually a kind of family inheritance. Why are the boys' parents so anxious, and even beat him every day? Because his parents are worried that it will not be passed on, and that the son's generation will only think about enjoyment, and the family will not be able to keep it. Thinking about it carefully, this is also human nature, and we must respect all the efforts, even blood and tears, of the parents of the other party when their generation struggled. Don't simply think that the system is easy, but try to understand how much hardship the other party has endured and how much sadness there is in the middle? I have also been in the system before, and I want to say that it is not easy, it is definitely not easy to be able to sit in a certain position in the system like his parents. I won't go into details one by one, but to sum it up in two words, respect. We must respect each other's family heritage. People have family learning and family heritage, but the family heritage they have been fighting for for decades seems to be nothing with you. Think about it from another perspective: If you struggle for decades and finally reach a relatively high place, do you want your children to casually overthrow the results of their decades of struggle in the future? The answer is definitely no. Life is not a romance drama. After the bubble of love is burst, life must be real. Every step and every footprint may contain blood and tears. Fourth, the key to counterattack. Never pin your hopes of achieving a class transition or a counter-attack in life on your feelings. The key to counter-attack is whether you struggle and whether you work hard. A reader once told me that her life and work are all making way for her boyfriend, she has undertaken 98% of the housework for the other party, and gave up two assignment opportunities with an annual salary of 400,000 yuan, but in the end she ended up in a thankless situation. Regarding her grievances, I can understand, but life is my own. Even if you make these choices for the other party, it is also your own choice. No one can make us pass up such an opportunity unless we want to. "All my life and work make way for him" is not true love, it is a kind of flattery and dependence. Only after a person loves himself well and develops himself, can he truly love others, love others neither humbly nor arrogantly, and can also get the true love of others. So, no matter what, a person should never give up the opportunity to develop himself. To put it bluntly, love is a game of value, especially when you want to maintain love. The longer the game is, the more you have to get something. Therefore, I hope that all of you will not give up creating love and wealth in your life, but also hope that everyone can live a small life with love, money, and health. The illustrations in this article, any website, newspaper, TV station, company, organization or individual, may not be used in part or in whole without authorization.

(Responsible editor：Housewife)

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