"Would parents feel ashamed if a woman's marriage is unfortunate and divorced?" This father's letter is very touching

time:2022-12-03 00:53:46 source:chloeaktas.com author:Rich young woman
"Would parents feel ashamed if a woman's marriage is unfortunate and divorced?" This father's letter is very touching

Hello friend! Our meeting was a reunion after a long absence. Click "Follow" above, we will be friends for life! Text: Shili Illustration: From the Internet "I really want to get a divorce now. My husband is not only drinking and beating people, but also addicted to games and not doing his job properly. I can't see any hope, but because I am afraid that my parents will think that my divorce will be ashamed, I have never dared to divorce. Because I’ve only been married for less than a year, and I’m also afraid of hurting my young children, because at that time I got married because of my son, and I didn’t want everyone to think I was wrong.” A few days ago, a reader friend sent this message. private letter. When I saw this private letter, I had mixed feelings in my heart. "Do parents really feel ashamed when a woman divorces because of an unhappy marriage?" The answer is usually no. Most parents don't feel ashamed of their daughter's divorce, because compared with the impact of their daughter's marriage on them, they They pay more attention to the well-being of their daughter. What they pray in their hearts is that only her daughter can be happy. Because the author is also a father and also has a daughter, if the daughter's future marriage is unfortunate and she also wants to divorce, then the author will definitely support her choice. Even spending half of your life ending a wrong marriage is much better than spending your precious life fighting bad people. For the unfortunate marriage of their children, parents will not feel ashamed, they will only feel sorry for themselves in their hearts, and they did not see the right person in the first place. When my daughter had problems in her marriage, the author once wrote this letter to her daughter: "Hello daughter, I received a call from you yesterday, and my father found out that you always hesitate to talk to the family, are you married? If you have any problems, you might as well tell your dad. Dad will always be your backing. Regarding your marriage, you rarely tell your dad, and dad rarely asks about it, because dad I know, you are an adult, you have your own way of getting along, and you have your own views on marriage, so Dad rarely gave you advice before. Dad knows that you love your husband very much, otherwise you wouldn't be able to give up your dreams for him, Then I became a good wife and good mother. But even if you love another person, you cannot unconditionally compromise and give in in marriage. You need to stick to your bottom line and principles, because the more you compromise, the more reckless the other party will trample on you. The bottom line. It's like the marriage between Tong Liya and Chen Sicheng. For love and marriage, Tong Liya compromised everything with her husband, but she didn't get a good result. When the reporter asked her, what if the other half cheated? She also answered : "For me, it's good to go home. "When the host asked her, what would you do if you found out that a rival in love appeared one day? She said: "I can only show myself well and fight for it. In a relationship, she was humbled to the dust, compromised for love, and completely lost her bottom line and principles. At that time, Tong Liya's speech caused heated discussions on the Internet. Some people cursed, and some agreed. Someone said: "Love someone is like this, just like Zhang Ailing said, because you have loved, you are compassionate; because you understand, you are tolerant. "But is this really love? It's not love, it's just a compromise and connivance of the powerlessness of love, which is destined to harm others and oneself. Because in love, the more connivance and compromise a woman is, the more difficult the other party will be. Will hurt unscrupulously. Later, Tong Liya's husband still did something wrong to her and was made public. Facing her husband's betrayal, Tong Liya chose to forgive. Facing her forgiveness, her husband not only did not choose to change, but became more unscrupulous. In the end, Tong Liya still chose to divorce. You see, she has given so much in this relationship and is extremely tolerant to the other half, but in the end, it is not the betrayal and betrayal of the other party. In marriage, even if you love another one Man, Dad also hopes that you can restrain yourself. As Tu Lei said: "Love a person seven points is enough, and the remaining three points, please love yourself. "When faced with the unfortunate marriage, Dad hopes that you can think more about your future, instead of foolishly and painfully persisting. If there is no hope in a relationship, then giving up directly is the most effective decision. Like Tong Liya, who chose to divorce bravely later, you can see that after her divorce, she soon regained her pre-marriage look. Daughter, please remember at any time: marriage does not mean happiness, and divorce does not mean misfortune. Faced with When someone brings you misfortune, the most important thing you should think about is not how to change him, but how to make yourself happy. Some people can't be changed in a lifetime. No matter how much you pay, you are often just moved by yourself. Just like Ji Xianlin As Mr. said: "The bad guys I observed were like this decades ago, and they are still like this today. I can't find any words to defend them. "In marriage, instead of painfully trying to change the person who cannot be changed, it is better to stop the loss in time after confirming that the other person will not change. Daughter, you must not foolishly insist on an unfortunate marriage, because this will not only cause It will make you lose more, and even harm your children. You must have the ability to love yourself. It is actually a wrong concept to maintain a marriage for the sake of children. It is not necessarily good to maintain a marriage and children, and divorce is not necessarily bad. In other words, the divorce of the parents may bring him harm, but the unfortunate family environment and the conflict between the parents will bring more harm to the child. In the face of an unfortunate marriage, it is the wisest choice to stop the loss in time! Only Leave the wrong person as early as possible, and meet the right person as soon as possible. Of course, all of this is just Dad's advice, and you still have to follow your own heart. In Dad's heart, it is more important to be your wife and mother than you are. , being yourself first is the most important thing for you at the moment. Just like Liu Ruoying said: "A woman's best fate is not to marry a husband who loves you so much, but to learn how to live alone. It was wonderful. Compared to you being a full-time housewife, my father wants you to have your own independent financial ability. I'm always afraid that you will retreat to the family's square because you don't have the ability to make money; at any time, a woman's economic ability determines a woman's superstructure. For women, even if the marriage is harmonious and happy, they also need to have the ability to be financially independent, because then women have the ability to choose their own way of life. Because of this ability, you have the confidence to say no to a bad relationship. For example, people drink water, know the warmth and coldness, only you can taste the bitterness of life, so you don't have to care about others at all. For women, marriage is not the whole of life, it is just an important choice on the road of life. When the choice is wrong, give up directly, and choose again is the most responsible way for yourself. For women, how to make themselves happier in marriage is the most important thing they should consider. Daughter, Dad wants you to understand that no matter what happens, no matter what decision you make, Mom and Dad will always support you. The above is a letter I wrote to my daughter. They all say, "It's better to destroy ten temples than to destroy a marriage." Compared with persuading people to divorce, the author hopes that your marriage will be successful. Share, watch and like, at least I want to have one - END Today's topic: "Do you think it's right?"

(Responsible editor:A solitary woman)

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