"My mother-in-law doesn't help me to take care of my child in confinement. I hate her for the rest of my life, and I will never forgive her."-chloeaktas.com

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"My mother-in-law doesn't help me to take care of my child in confinement. I hate her for the rest of my life, and I will never forgive her."

time：2023-03-26 13:03:37 source：chloeaktas.com author：Working women

"My mother-in-law doesn't help me to take care of my child in confinement. I hate her for the rest of my life, and I will never forgive her."

01 The increasing conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law are often caused by children. A reader complained to my mother-in-law: "I have nothing to say to my mother-in-law. I will hate her for the rest of my life. When I gave birth, I had a caesarean section, but she didn't take care of me. It's okay if she doesn't help me when I'm confinement. After the maternity leave ended, I was going to work. I asked my husband to call her and ask her to come and help take care of the child, but she refused. She didn't bring her own grandchildren. I have never seen such a mother-in-law. I really envy me. My best friend, my mother-in-law contributes both money and effort. Our mother-in-law can't count on it at all. It's too selfish. Do you think she does this and I don't hate her? I get angry when I mention her, and it's because I have nothing to do with my mother-in-law. My husband has quarreled many times. I just feel that their family owes me, and my mother owes me." I asked her directly: If it were you, would you be willing to help your son and daughter-in-law take care of the children in the future? "I don't want to do it, it's so hard, in case I can't get along with my daughter-in-law again." I asked again: Did you have any conflicts before marriage? Has your relationship with your mother-in-law been bad? "My mother-in-law probably didn't like me at all, but my husband and I are still married. We had a fight before we got married, and then the relationship never eased. I thought she would read it for the sake of the child after giving birth. Forgive people and forgive them, but who knew she was like this." She asked me how to deal with the relationship with my mother-in-law? How to deal with it? No need to deal with it, just treat the mother-in-law as a strange aunt, and let the husband do anything. Don't be angry with your mother-in-law, and there's no need to nag your mother in front of your husband. It's boring. Just live your little life well. Anyway, the hard times in the past have been overcome, so you can live the next days well. She said something: I am unbalanced, why is she doing nothing for a grandson? This reader also pointed out the fundamental reason why many daughters-in-law resent their mother-in-law: unbalanced heart. But in fact, if you think about it carefully, there is really no need to be angry because your mother-in-law didn't help you. Why bother? If you are angry, you will suffer yourself, so you might as well look away. Anyway, it has nothing to do with your mother-in-law. Since she is so cold-blooded towards you, then you will have nothing to talk about in the future. Live a good life as a family of three No. What do you call a grandson in white? Does the child kiss her? She is not good to her grandson, can the child kiss her? We all know that "whoever takes care of the child will kiss more", she doesn't love the child, how can she be a grandson in vain. In this world, there has never been a free family relationship, even the relationship between children and their biological parents, not to mention grandparents. Mother-in-law doesn't want to take care of your confinement, and she doesn't want to take care of your child. If she doesn't help, she won't help? You can't force people. If people don't want to do it, you still force it. If she reluctantly agrees, she will suffer and you will suffer, why bother? If you can't get along, you will never force it. If you insist on living under the same roof with someone who doesn't get along well, isn't this naked torture? The child belongs to you and your husband. Before giving birth, you should arrange the "confinement" and "who will take care of the child", instead of waiting for the mother-in-law to come, what if the mother-in-law does not want to help you? Are you going to hate it? There's no need to hate, she doesn't want to, you can solve it by discussing it yourself, it's fine if you don't. Bring your own children, and the quality of your children's future raising will also be directly related to you, so there is nothing to complain about. 02 If I say this, maybe you will say that I don't have back pain when I stand and talk? How hard and hard it is to have children, and besides, it's hard for the young couple to have to go to work, why can't they help a bunch, how can there be such a cruel mother-in-law? But there are mother-in-laws in this world who just want to live a good life. I don't think they are right. People have worked hard for most of their lives and don't want to work anymore, what could be wrong. Our Chinese-style relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has a very serious misconception: I think that mother-in-law should take care of grandchildren. It is the mother-in-law's responsibility and obligation to take care of her grandson. Don't even help with your own grandson, right? Why won't the child call her grandma in the future? However, let’s take a step back and speak objectively and fairly: the mother-in-law does not want to help take care of her grandson, nor does she want to help take care of her daughter-in-law’s confinement. Is she wrong? I personally think it's right, because confinement meals are really not for everyone, what if your mother-in-law can't? In addition, postpartum women will be more sensitive, and it is easy to have conflicts with her mother-in-law. Maybe her mother-in-law is afraid of making you unhappy. She knows that she will not get along, so she does not force it, and does not want to cause unnecessary trouble. Besides, you are not used to taking care of her. You dislike her, and you don't get along well. How can people help you take care of the child? We all know how hard it is to live under the same roof with someone you don't get along with. I have brought children myself, and I know how difficult it is to bring children. If my mother-in-law wants to relax, there is really nothing to say. Who doesn't want to be free in their later years after working hard all their lives? Perhaps those mother-in-laws who "don't want to help take care of their children" are very sober. They know that they don't get along well with their daughters-in-law. what trouble. They are more personal, and they want to make their later life easier, and it is understandable that they are selfish. I gave birth to two children, and my mother-in-law did not come to help take care of the confinement. I asked my husband on my own initiative. When I gave birth to the eldest, my relationship with my mother-in-law never eased. I was especially afraid that when she came, we would have conflicts, which would lead to my poor confinement. The relationship between my second child and my mother-in-law had eased, but I wanted to spend more time with my mother. Wait, because only during the confinement period, I have reason to let my mother come over and get along with her more. When we grew up, I lived with my mother very little, and I miss the happy times when I was a child when I could see my mother when I got home. Some people may say, let your mother "serve" you, is your daughter really filial? What mother doesn't feel sorry for her daughter? Who doesn't want a mother in confinement, because having a mother will make you more at ease, even if you have a small temper, you will not be really angry. But it's different from my mother-in-law. To put it bluntly, I just want my life to be more comfortable, I don't want to feel angry, and then I want to take this opportunity to get along with my mother more. Let the mother-in-law help to take care of the child, my opinion is whether she is willing, if she is not willing, I will find another way with my husband, I can't be unwilling, you should force her. Reluctantly to do things alone, I just said, you are both uncomfortable, why bother? My eldest was brought up by me. I brought it up by one year and nine months. I asked my aunt to help me, and my mother-in-law took it for a month. The second child was brought by my mother-in-law. We got along very harmoniously. If If we can't get along, my mother-in-law will not be willing to help us take care of the children. The most important thing is to have a happy family together. Get along if you can get along, and stay away if you can't get along. 03 Now when I hear someone complaining about conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, they will always say: Choose a lifestyle that suits you, get along more when you can get along, and less when you can’t get along, even if you don’t get along at all, leave your mother-in-law to her. Your husband is fine too, just live a good life and don't bring your resentment towards your mother-in-law into your marriage. As for the future mother-in-law is sick and hospitalized, you can leave it to your husband, why should you suffer so much? It's like having a deep hatred with my mother-in-law. For example, the reader who complained about his mother-in-law at the beginning, there is no need to complain, just live a good life. Also, if you have a higher EQ, don't be so serious, and don't tell your husband anything ugly. It's not necessary, think about it, if you say to your husband, "I hate your mother for the rest of your life, and your mother will die of old age and sickness in the future." It has nothing to do with me." Why do you say so, and say all the ugly things, in the end, you hurt yourself. It's good to be bearish, she won't help if she doesn't help, she won't complain if she doesn't take you, and discuss with her husband to solve the problem. Of course, it will be very tiring for a young couple to bring a child, but honestly, it is also happiness that you accompany your child to grow up together. Think about the good side of everything and enlighten yourself more, instead of living with hatred all the time. I hope you can live happily, happily, and open up a little bit. Today's topic: Your mother-in-law won't help you to take care of the child during confinement, will you hate her? Welcome to leave a message for discussion. - END - ★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing warm emotional things in this world.

(Responsible editor：Housewife)

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