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Psychology found that the more "cold" women are, the more men like them

time：2023-03-26 13:26:25 source：chloeaktas.com author：Rich young woman

Psychology found that the more "cold" women are, the more men like them

When I used to read Mary Sue novels or romance TV dramas, I would find that no matter how good the second female lead was, how considerate or proactive, the male lead just ignored her. On the other hand, those female protagonists who don't take them seriously, or ignore them, can actually arouse the male protagonist's interest. The more they ignore them, the more enthusiastic they are. When I was young, I didn't understand why, didn't they say that women chase men's interlayer yarn? When I reach the age of falling in love, I understand that people are all the same, that what they can't get is always in turmoil, and those who are favored are fearless. It's like we're playing a game, and the simple, easy-to-follow levels will quickly lose our interest and leave us behind. And those games that are more difficult to play make us worry, and every day we think about what strategy we should adopt to clear the level. The same is true of love. If we are too active, we will lose our dominance in love. After all, people will not cherish what can be obtained without effort. Therefore, psychology has found that the more "cold" women are, the more men like them.

The true principle of Zeigarnick effect in emotional psychology

Sometimes, the house is in a mess and we can live with it calmly. But once we start cleaning, we don’t want to stop even if our back is sore; we chase dramas with tablets, and after watching one episode, we want to watch another episode, usually from 8 or 9 o’clock in the evening to 4 or 5 in the morning the next day. A few years ago, there was a little jumping game on WeChat, which caused many people to stay up in the middle of the night and keep their record at the top of the circle of friends. There are many other things like this. They don't give us any substantial material rewards, but they just make us want to stop. Once we start, we don't want to stop. Why? The psychological mechanism at work is actually the Zeigarnick effect, which refers to the innate drive that each of us has to get things done. If a thing hasn't been done, that motivation drives and impresses our brains about what's left to do. After a woman has a "cold" temperament, she will not easily agree to his pursuit just because of a few words from a man, so for a man, the pursuit is something that has not yet been completed. Therefore, they will naturally be obsessed with these girls.

People will automatically beautify the hard-to-get things in their minds

We often say that distance produces beauty, so do we think about Where did this beauty come from? I remember a military training party held in high school. There was a show where a white gauze was pulled up on the stage, and behind the white gauze were four dancing girls. When they came from behind, the silhouettes of the girls fell on the white gauze. Although we can't see the faces of the girls, the hazy mood is enough to stimulate people's hormones, so we can't help but guess that the person behind the white gauze must be a beautiful person. After the performance, the white gauze fell, and the girls showed their true faces. The strange thing is that they are still in good shape and their faces are good, but we just don't have the excitement and expectation at the beginning. Later, when I thought about it, it was because we didn’t know them well, or we knew only a little about them, and then our brains automatically optimized them, and after we fully understood them, because of the gap between ideals and reality, the beauty in our brains would disappear. We often wonder why after we become more and more passionate about men, men become more and more cold to us. In fact, it is because we are too enthusiastic, which narrows the distance between ideal and reality, and makes that beauty disappear. In addition, being too enthusiastic will make men less challenging, so they will become more and more indifferent. Only those who are not so easy to get will be added with beautifying filters and will want to chase.

Preservation is a woman's secret weapon for dealing with relationships

The Adventures of Tom Sawyer states: "He discovered that One of the great laws of human behavior, which I don't know yet, is that in order to make an adult or child want to do something, it is only necessary to try to make that thing difficult to achieve." Indeed, the more It's not that easy to get, but it's more and more addicting. For things with a high degree of difficulty, people generally have a conquest, not to mention men who have a desire to hunt. In this sense, we need to let ourselves have some "cold" characteristics, not to be close to strangers, but to be reserved, not too active and enthusiastic, and not to post back. Everything is according to your own wishes. When you are happy, you can interact with the other party more. When you have your own affairs to be busy, you should concentrate on it. After you have dealt with your own affairs, you will take care of your feelings. You will not be carried away by love because of the other party's few words, nor will you blindly agree to the other party's pursuit, but you must observe whether the other party is suitable or not. Even if the relationship is confirmed, even if you like it in your heart, you should pretend to be calm on the surface. Only modesty is an effective way for a woman not to be in a passive position in love.

(Responsible editor：Graduate girl)

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