What women should be most careful of is actually this kind of obedient man

time:2022-10-02 03:19:47 source:chloeaktas.com author:Housewife
What women should be most careful of is actually this kind of obedient man

Key words: Husband owes online loan, Naked Chat Ask: I am a woman, with a normal personality, a doctor, with average appearance, and I have a higher income than him. He is a teacher, with a submissive personality and average appearance. I have been married for half a year, have no children, and have a relationship foundation. I get along with him more. I found out about an online loan a year ago, and I helped him repay part of it, and let him repay the rest by himself. When I was about to pay it off recently, I was cheated by someone talking about it, paying my credit card, and increasing my loan again. This time I told my parents on both sides, and he was taught a lesson. A year ago, I was cheated of tens of thousands of yuan (parents' money) because I was entrusting someone to do things. I myself would like to give him a chance, cool him for a while, and then help him manage his finances. I feel that he is the pig teammate of the team. I don’t know if he can quit this habit of taking out loans. He is also facing further plans such as whether to have children. Please ask Teacher Leng Ai to help analyze whether it is a divorce or re-examination, and how to deal with his frequent loans and his busy and busy looking for stimulation. A: When I saw the above story, I felt the entanglement, anger and confusion of the heroine. The female protagonist's husband's online loans, naked chats, and being cheated of money, etc., not only damage the family's wealth, but also affect their feelings. So, I can understand the emotions of the heroine very well. I will share this story from the following four aspects, and I hope it will inspire everyone. One, two-faced people. We see the two sides of character in the heroine and husband. On the one hand, there is no-nonsense, on the other hand, there are naked chats and online loans. Many girls will think that it is a good thing that the man's character is submissive, because such a man will obey him, just like the heroine's husband will follow the heroine more when they get along. But in fact, some of these people who are submissive and obedient on the surface, some are honest people, and more are two-faced people, and there may be thoughts and things behind them that he dare not say. Behind such two-faced people, there are thunders hidden one by one. The naked chats and online loans behind the heroine's husband are all thunderous. The majority of single girls and boys should keep their eyes open when choosing objects and avoid these two-faced people. This is also a pit to be avoided in relationships. Second, the flow of money. The hostess asked: How do I deal with my husband's frequent loans and the act of looking for stimulation in a hurry? Let's first analyze the possible reasons behind his frequent online loans and naked chatting. Only when the cause is found can the remedy be prescribed. There is an old saying that "the fat water does not flow into the fields of outsiders". In the marriage between the heroine and her husband, why does the money flow out to online loans and nude chats? Why doesn't the husband use the money for love and family building? For example, online loans and naked chats for the heroine and husband are indeed very unreasonable, but these bring value to the heroine and husband. Because he uses money to buy self-esteem and self-worth. Know that when a person frequently does things that seem unreasonable, these things must be of great value to him. And these values ​​are the real reasons that make him unable to extricate himself. The heroine said that this was because her husband was in a hurry to find stimulation. In fact, it was not only stimulation, but also gave him the dignity of a man and made him feel as if he could decide his own life. Because he has no status and no dignity in the original family or in the new family formed with the heroine. He is a man who has no place in the family. For example, after the heroine told the parents of both parties that her husband had been cheated of money and loans, the husband was taught a lesson. From the three words "learned", we can imagine that the man is very insignificant and weak in the original family of both parties and in the new family. Sisters, everyone needs to know an important truth in relationships: when a man feels no place at home, he will spend money and other methods to find compensation outside, looking for illusory self-satisfaction. Therefore, the essence of this matter is actually not just a problem with this man alone, but a problem with the entire family system. We have to see that on the surface it is the man who is leaking money, but in essence it is the family who is leaking money. People in this family did not work together, did not see and respect each other. Because the heroine did not provide more material, we cannot draw more conclusions. From the current information, we can feel that this man is very likely to have no sense of existence in the family. He's a man without a presence, so he plays a two-faced man. His apparent submissiveness and obedience may have been a form of flattery and self-preservation. But everyone wants to have a sense of existence, and then he finds a sense of existence outside through unreasonable ways such as naked chat. So, if the heroine doesn't want to get divorced, and wants to improve his behavior of leaking money through naked chatting and online loans, he will forcefully forbid him to do it, but only suppress the symptoms, not the root cause. The fundamental solution is to make him have a more sense of presence and value in both the small family and the family of origin. This requires the joint efforts of himself, the heroine and both parents, and it will also take a long time. Third, the direction of efforts. In the description of the question, the hostess said that she wanted to give him another chance, so how can the hostess give her husband a chance to be more effective? In the general direction, it is to give him a lot of understanding and recognition, so that he can find a sense of existence and value at home. First understand his current behaviors, and don't judge him for doing these things wrong, but to see the reasons behind them. Regarding the reason, in the second point above, I made a detailed analysis. In family relationships, we don't look at right or wrong, we look at cause and effect. Love is more important than right or wrong. If a family is full of right and wrong judgments and investigations, people in the family instinctively want to escape. Regarding recognition, of course, it is not to recognize his behavior of taking out loans and talking naked. The heroine can express her pain, sadness and worry about it. What the woman should recognize is his status as a son, as a husband, and as a son-in-law in the family. To see his strengths and potential, and constantly encourage him, let him see his own value. Only in this way will he have a sense of existence and value in the family, and it may reduce the motivation to seek compensation. Fourth, the plan to have children. In the description of the question, the heroine said that she is also facing further plans such as whether to have children. It is recommended that the heroine be cautious and cautious. Until the family status has not changed and his status has not changed, it is recommended not to make a major decision such as having a child. In his current state, he is not yet qualified to be a father. If you rashly give birth to a child, life may be a mess, and the female lead will face even greater pressure. Every life should be blessed to come into the world. Parents' love and a warm family are the best love and blessings for their children. The above four aspects are responses to this story. I also wish the heroine ~ the creative team | Leng Ai Fang Shang The illustrations in this article, any website, newspaper, TV station, company, organization or individual, may not be used in part or in whole without authorization.

(Responsible editor:Rich young woman)

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