Wife blames husband for not working at home for seven years, netizen: With this eight-digit deposit, I also lie down

time:2022-10-02 04:45:08 source:chloeaktas.com author:Rich young woman
Wife blames husband for not working at home for seven years, netizen: With this eight-digit deposit, I also lie down

In the marriage of two people, like-mindedness is the most important thing. If you can't even reach an agreement on ordinary communication and spiritual level, then this marriage is destined to be extremely difficult to go on. I thought of an emotional mediation program I saw before, and I will review it here and share it with you.

The husband has not worked for seven years and the wife works 2,000 per month in the supermarket

Xiaoyan, a woman who works in the supermarket with a monthly income of about 2,000, she found mediation The member said that she and her husband Xiaofeng could no longer continue to live, because this kind of life made her feel suffocated. The mediator expressed surprise after learning the truth, because Xiaoyan is in her 30s, her husband is a few years older than her, she lives in a big house, and has a son and a daughter. If they make up a good word, they are also happy in the eyes of others. The couple lives well, why can't they live on? Xiaoyan said that the fundamental reason is that her husband does not work at home this year, and she is a woman who has carried everything with more than 2,000 yuan of money from working in the supermarket. She said that it was really tiring to go on like this. She had to deal with this alone, and she felt hopeless about life, so she resolutely filed for divorce, and her husband had no intention of looking for a job. Seeing this, I really feel sorry for Xiaoyan. After all, it is really too hard to rely on a woman to take care of both the outside and the inside. It is really better not to have such an unprofessional husband!

The truth is shocking, it turns out that the money is not bad at all

Therefore, the mediator, with a resentment and a mentality of feeling worthless for Xiaoyan, found When I met Xiaoyan's husband Xiaofeng, I didn't expect that after some exchanges with Xiaofeng, this style of painting has completely changed. Xiaofeng also admitted that he did not have a job, and he had no intention of looking for a job. All these years, he stayed at home, either for some reason or because there was no shortage of money at home, so why would he go to work if he had the confidence? When the mediator carefully asked him how much money he had, he didn't hide it at all and said that because the house was demolished a few years ago, there was still some amount of the demolition money, and the money was in Xiaoyan's hands. In fact, Xiaoyan should have a sense of security, I don't know why she is so anxious. Xiaofeng didn't reveal the exact amount, but he said it was roughly eight figures. Yes, you read that right, that's about ten or twenty million. No, with such a sum of money, I don't want to work anymore. I can fully understand Xiaofeng. Moreover, Xiaofeng also said that there is a reason for him not to go to work. On the one hand, it is also to better educate his two children, and he does not want to let his children go their own way. Because if he goes to work, the child can only be taken by his mother. His mother has a strong personality. He was also oppressed by his mother since he was a child. So I feel more at ease with the kids. The second aspect is that it's not bad for money anyway. Besides, his wife Xiaoyan doesn't care about the children at all, and she doesn't even wear the children's clothes. His wife often used her work as an excuse and didn't care about anything. Xiaofeng also took care of the hygiene at home, so it was understandable for him, just like those full-time mothers. Don't think that they have a lot of time. In fact, they have two children. Even if the children go to school, they still have a lot of chicken feathers left to cook. Nothing is easier than going to work. And the mediator also found that Xiaofeng was not doing nothing at home. He likes to study circuit board electrical and programming. He already has a set of research ideas, and he has also taught himself Japanese. He is a self-taught expert. Such a skilled person will definitely have a foothold if he returns to the workplace in the future. For the sake of the two common children, under the painstaking efforts of the mediator, the two reconciled temporarily and gave each other a hug, but behind the hug is actually a complete inconsistency of values, and I don't know how to continue the road in the future.

Inconsistent values, how far can marriage go?

In fact, it is normal for husband and wife to fight and fight. Necessary running-in and disputes are also a must in marriage. However, if the values ​​are always inconsistent, the irreconcilable conflicts will bring harm to both parties. In fact, if the Xiaoyan and Xiaofeng couples here have their own positions, it is not without understanding. The essential reason for the contradiction lies in the complete inconsistency of values, and it is very tiring to go on in such a marriage. So if they have to keep going, what are some suggestions?

First, learn to empathize.

If you insist too much on yourself in marriage, it means that the other party doesn't like to eat porridge, and if you insist on letting the other party eat porridge, it will naturally cause the other party's dissatisfaction. Marriage is not 1+1=2, but (1-0.5)+(1-0.5)=1. Just like Xiaofeng's current state, Xiaoyan can also try to understand him from his point of view. After all, Xiaofeng took care of the housework and took care of the children. In fact, he also paid a lot for the family. For other female compatriots, it must be admiration.

The second is to take a step back.

If the ideas are inconsistent, there is no need for others to be on the same channel as you. Learn to take a step back. Seeking common ground while reserving differences is important.

The third is tolerance and patience.

There are not two identical leaves between people, so learn to be tolerant when necessary. This is not an admission of defeat, but an expression of love. Only by calming yourself and the other party can you be better. Facing contradictions, reconciling contradictions, and moving forward together.

The fourth is to communicate more.

No matter what happens in your life, you must learn to communicate with each other. As someone who has been with you for a lifetime, you can give each other respect, and the other person will certainly give you the same respect. And communication is the first step to open the gap between the two parties. If you don't understand why she is angry? So how to deal with deep-seated contradictions? Tea has the taste of tea, and coffee has the aroma of coffee, so there is no need to drink the same thing. The same is true of marriage. Don’t impose your ideas on each other, and don’t force your life style to integrate with each other. Just do it and cherish it!

(Responsible editor:Working women)

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