Some people are destined to be unstoppable. Compared with keeping them all the time, people with high emotional intelligence will do this

time:2022-12-02 10:03:49 source:chloeaktas.com author:Housewife
Some people are destined to be unstoppable. Compared with keeping them all the time, people with high emotional intelligence will do this

When I was young, I always thought that I must take every step in my life as well as possible, talk about a love that will not break up as much as possible, and live my life without regrets as much as possible. But after entering the society and starting to encounter various things, I realized that it is useless to rely solely on good wishes for many things. A lot of things happened at the moment and had to be accepted and faced. For example, you will still go the wrong way after thinking over and over again, a feeling that you have exhausted all your thoughts and enthusiasm for will still have no results, many things you don’t want to miss will still be missed, and people you don’t want to let go will still be unrepentant. Hesitantly turned to leave. Maybe you can't understand why things are like this? You look at the face that treats you coldly now, and you are not connected with the person who was full of tenderness for you back then. However, later on, that person became blurred, and those hurts also became blurred. Looking back, it seemed that they were all other people's stories, and other people's lives had nothing to do with me. Then you suddenly understand that people and things that you once thought could not be let go will actually be let go; the pain that you once thought could not be let go will actually pass; the people you once wanted to keep forever, it doesn’t matter if you lose them. Because now you, without him, are still alive and well. When Zhang Defen wrote the preface to the book "The Reconstruction of the Heart", he wrote: "It is almost inevitable that all kinds of painful things will happen to us in life, and the real pain is not the event itself, but our understanding of it. The response, the reaction to the event." You thought that if you lost someone you wanted to be with, your life would become bleak from now on, but everyone knew that everything was the best arrangement, but you couldn't see it at the time. Clear, but also do not want to understand. No matter what happens, it should not be a reason for us to live in pain all the time. In any case, in this life, people still have to rely on themselves to complete the journey, and others can only accompany us for a certain distance, long or short, but not from beginning to end. You must know that some people are destined to be unstoppable. Compared with retaining, doing so will make oneself better, that is to look forward. And those with high emotional intelligence will not stay forever, they will also choose to look forward. In the TV series "Do You Know", Sheng Minglan was not favored by her father since she was a child, and her mother left her early because of others' frame-ups. Fortunately, her grandmother took her in so that she could grow up safely. Because of having such a growing environment, she has been cautious since she was a child, and she is very observant, for fear of causing trouble for herself. However, such a girl has no one to rely on, but when faced with the love of Qi Heng, who is much better than her family, she decides to take a risk. As long as Qi Heng does not give up, she will not give up. She knew that Qi Heng's family would not agree with them being together, but she was unwilling to give up their relationship like that, and she also believed that Qi Heng would stick with it to the end. However, Qi Heng finally compromised. He failed Sheng Minglan. After Sheng Minglan found out, she was naturally very sad, but she didn't complain, she just wanted to live the life in front of her. Later, Qi Heng asked Sheng Minglan to repent and wanted Minglan to change her mind, but Sheng Minglan believed that people should never look back, but should look forward. Since they have missed it and separated, there is no need to force a reconciliation. After leaving Qi Heng, does Sheng Minglan really know that she will meet better people in the future? No, she didn't know, she just made the most rational judgment for her at the moment, even if she was destined to live alone in the future, she would probably accept it. Of course, Sheng Minglan ended up with Gu Tingye, who loved her very much. She would not regret that she had taken a risk for Qi Heng, nor would she regret marrying Gu Tingye. In her opinion, if you miss it, you will miss it. You must cherish the person in front of you. No one knows what will happen tomorrow, so it is the most important thing to live well in front of you. Gu Minglan's attitude towards feelings is actually the same as what the book "Reconstruction of the Heart" taught us: "Every one of us needs to care about ourselves; what we can control is only ourselves; and What we can do is to explore our inner world." How others will treat us, what others will do, whether others will cherish us or let us down, are all unpredictable and uncontrollable. From start to finish, all we can do is take care of ourselves. In the book "Rebuilding the Heart", a girl named Grace was mentioned. After she was with her boyfriend for a year, her boyfriend fell in love with someone else and told her about it. Of course she It hurts very much, but her view of love has always been: if this relationship is destined to last only one year, it means that the other party is not the person she was destined for, and this relationship is not the right one for her. Many people may not be as straightforward as her, and even think how she can let go of a relationship so easily, but some people can do it, not because they are indifferent or stronger than others, just because they know better Feelings cannot be forced. In this case, it is better to look forward and live the present moment. Of course, many people will deny themselves because others leave them, thinking that they are not good enough, so others will leave. But to be honest, when you all feel that you are not good enough, others can't see your good. When you deny yourself because of others' departure, it means that you have always had no confidence in yourself, and you have not loved yourself enough, so the departure of others is such a difficult thing for you to accept. If you love yourself enough and recognize yourself enough, then you will know that you are fine whether other people are there or not. A failed relationship doesn't mean you're not good enough. In the book "Reconstruction of the Heart", the author emphasizes more than once that no one can truly abandon you except yourself. You exist for yourself. Whether others fall in love with you or leave you, you should always love yourself and support yourself. Of course, it is very difficult for many people to do this, which is why so many people are trapped in a past relationship and can't get out, and so many people are trapped in love. But this is not incomprehensible. Anyone who has read the book "Reconstruction of the Heart" will know how to do it. If you also want to know how to get rid of the shadow of a relationship, how to live a better life and live a better self, then this "Reconstruction of the Heart" will be a good choice for you. This book will make you change your previous attitude towards relationships and teach you not to lose yourself because of the loss of a relationship under any circumstances. (The book card has been added here, please go to the Toutiao client to view) --END--If you like it, click to follow it. On the way to reading, I hope we will always be together.

(Responsible editor:Divorced women)

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