"My husband gave the female anchor 150,000 yuan, and even had a relationship, what should I do?"-chloeaktas.com

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"My husband gave the female anchor 150,000 yuan, and even had a relationship, what should I do?"

time：2023-03-26 13:56:39 source：chloeaktas.com author：Graduate girl

"My husband gave the female anchor 150,000 yuan, and even had a relationship, what should I do?"

Keywords: Husband Rewarding Female Anchor 01. Reader Letter to Brother Kai, Hello! During this time, I encountered a problem that I didn't know how to choose. My husband and I are both married for the second time. We have been together for almost five years. Usually, I am at home and he works outside the home. Most of them belong to two places. I used to play with his mobile phone every time we met, and I always knew the password. But since the past two months, I always feel that he has changed. In the past, we used to make videos every day. During this period of time, a video every day seemed to complete the task... At that time, I didn't think much because I believed him, but from the Qixi Festival. I started to doubt or even be sure. But at that time, I didn't dare to face the reality, so I chose to escape. Until a few days ago, I still didn't answer the phone and video every night. I couldn't help buying a ticket and went to his place secretly. . Nothing was found at the time, but I vaguely sensed that he was weird, and the phone was silently replying messages. We used to hold hands when we went out, but when we went out, he was so far away from me that he was very angry and said that I didn’t believe him and came to him with impure purposes... I didn’t say anything because of the reason, and I took it when he fell asleep in the morning. He was on his phone, and the password was changed. He found me on the other side of the bed and immediately looked for my phone. I asked him to open it to check it. He thought it should be fine after I deleted it so early, so he opened it. I found out that he transferred 1314 to a woman on Qixi Festival, and I was worried that he didn't have the money to transfer 520 to him. He returned 521. After adding a dollar, I was very happy, saying that it was just a sense of ritual... Then I I found this woman, sent a message, and he didn't give it to me. After arguing for a day, I took the phone, and then the woman called me to answer... They met on Douyin live broadcast and gave each other a reward every day. My man's Douyin level is 42, and there are at least 150,000 or more. Bar. But my man said that he only gave 50,000. This number was upgraded by recharging with scalpers. Now it is a real-name system. Who would dare to use this for others? There's no way he wouldn't admit it, and so did I. Because he handed it over to me as soon as his monthly salary was paid, now I don't know if I should forgive him for cheating and spend hundreds of thousands to reward the anchor. The main thing is that he secretly saved the hundreds of thousands. I don't know... Or how? the mood to continue living. The derailment of the body, mind and body, and money make me wonder what kind of mentality I should continue to live in, but I feel like I wasted time and youth for so many years when I leave! Brother Kai, I'm very confused... 02. Kai Zi replied to the girl, hello, and found that her husband was rewarding the female anchor with money, and it was still such a large amount of money, which would be difficult for anyone to accept. From your letter, it seems that the past five years have been peaceful between the two of you, but in fact there are not many problems. 1. You have been separated for a long time. You have been married for almost 5 years, but for the past five years, you have been living in a separate way. I don't know if you have discussed and resolved this problem in different places. Husbands and wives are separated all the year round, which is a huge hidden danger in the relationship between husband and wife. 2. You have to video every day. You have a high emotional need and a strong desire to control, so you hope to video with him every day, but he may not like this method and will feel uncomfortable being monitored. 3. You secretly went to the place where he lives, and the reason why you want to secretly go, combined with the fact that you also played with his mobile phone before, you can see that you don't trust him in your heart. Although you said that you felt that he had changed two months ago, you still chose to believe at that time, but real trust does not require looking at his mobile phone, nor does he ask for daily video. From these three points, there may have been problems between your husband and wife, but you didn't notice it, or you didn't pay attention to it. Here I would like to discuss with you the topic of cheating on men. First of all, no matter what the reason is for cheating, it must be the fault of the man, especially if you take such a large amount of money to reward the female anchor, this is even more unacceptable. Secondly, from a legal point of view, the property after marriage belongs to the joint property of the husband and wife, which means that the husband's behavior of rewarding the anchor hurts the interests of the wife. But when a husband and wife get along, it's not about right or wrong, or if you do something wrong, I will prevail. Because you have to think about what you will do after you find out that he cheated? It is not difficult to find evidence, but to make a decision. At this time, the upper hand cannot change the status quo except to make the other party feel guilty. So before exposing your other half's betrayal, you might as well ask yourself these questions: 1. What are you going to do when you find evidence of your husband's derailment? 2. Do you want to continue this marriage? 3. If the marriage is to continue, what mentality do you use to face marriage? 4. How to rebuild trust in a relationship? 5. How will you get along in the future? When I do counseling, I often find that many girls don't actually think about these issues, and they impulsively reveal the truth. This will lead to the next dilemma. Don't get divorced and continue, but it has been difficult for both parties to establish trust, and there is a gap in their hearts. Divorce, not to mention the separation of children and property is a problem, and there are many years of love, it is not that you can let go. So, you say you're lost, and that's why you feel lost, because you're making decisions on impulse, not rationally. Let's analyze the question of why your husband will reward the female anchor with such a large amount of money. Men need to gain dignity through rewards, which reflects his low sense of value and presence in life and work. He got a sense of being valued by giving the anchor a gift. So the question is, why does he need to find a sense of presence on the Internet, and why does he want to be valued so much? The bigger reason is that he cannot feel his importance in family relationships. This also creates emotional emptiness and lack in him, and he also desires to be cared for, accepted, and loved. Let's compare. You have been married to this man for nearly five years, and his salary is handed over in full every month. The amount of money that should have been handed over to you in the past five years is in six figures. But after you get the money, you will express your gratitude and recognition to him, and you will say, husband, have you worked hard? Probably not. The female anchor is different. When a man gives her 100 yuan, she will thank her sweetly. Especially if you are also on the top of the list, this is like a god-like existence. In the eyes of girls, there is a sense of admiration, which can greatly satisfy a man's vanity and sense of accomplishment. The same money is spent, the feeling of spending the money is different, and it fully satisfies his emotional value. No matter how much money he gives his wife in real life, maybe his wife will only take it for granted, and if he gives some of the money to the female anchor, he will be admired and admired. Let's think about it, how can a man who has been neglected and marginalized for a long time in life suddenly climb from a low place to a high place and become a hero in women's hearts without falling? So now the problem you face is, you ask yourself, do you want this marriage, and are you still willing to repair your marriage? Think clearly about this problem before you can think about how to live in the future. I don't know what advice everyone will give her, what do you think she should choose? If you meet a man like her who will give a female anchor a reward, you can privately message me, and I will help you analyze whether the relationship can continue.

(Responsible editor：Divorced women)

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