Unhappy marriage, unreliable parents, what is the way out for a woman who divorces with a child?

time:2022-12-02 23:39:48 source:chloeaktas.com author:Girl
Unhappy marriage, unreliable parents, what is the way out for a woman who divorces with a child?

01 Received a WeChat message from a reader, she said: "I thought my life would be better after the divorce, but I didn't expect my parents' family to be unreliable. My parents are very distressed for me, but because there are brothers at home who will let me I feel very embarrassed. Because I came back, the house became very crowded. I always felt like I was a guest at my parents' house, and I no longer felt like I belonged to my own home. I had mixed feelings and I didn't know where my way out was. Where?" I chatted with her, and I got a general idea of ​​what happened to her and what kind of problems she encountered. I'll call her Xiao Ye. Xiaoye got divorced a year ago. After the divorce, she took the children back to her parents' home to live. My parents' house is also quite large, 150 square meters, with four bedrooms, two living rooms and two bathrooms, but my brother and sister-in-law have not moved out, so it is equivalent to three people living in one house, which is quite crowded. She herself has a three-year-old child, and her brother and sister-in-law have two children. The eldest has already gone to primary school and lives in a room by herself. The reason for Xiao Ye's insistence on divorce is her husband's domestic violence and cheating, plus a rambunctious mother-in-law. She couldn't bear it anymore, so she could only get a divorce. When she wanted to divorce, she also agreed with her mother in advance, saying that she would most likely move back to her parents' home after the divorce. Mother felt sorry for her, so she would naturally promise: "Come back, mother's home will always be your home, our family is so big, and we can live there." Originally planned to transition in her parents' home, but Xiaoye's job search was not very smooth, When she encountered the epidemic again, she didn't have much savings in her hand, so she didn't dare to rent a house with her children to live outside. Although the child is going to kindergarten, if she goes to work, no one will help her pick up the child. It's good to live in her parents' home, and you can let your parents help take care of it. No matter what, it's the grandparents of the children, so you will be more at ease. The relationship between Xiaoye and his sister-in-law is not bad, and there is not much conflict in this time. But recently, the two of them broke up because of their children. It was a very small matter. Xiao Ye's child was fighting over a toy from his elder brother's and sister-in-law's elder child. The two children had a lot of trouble. Xiao Ye meant that his child was small and should be let go; but after hearing this, the sister-in-law was unwilling: "Why should I let you guys? You live in this house and don't pay living expenses enough to take care of you. Now, do you want to let you even have a toy? Do you really treat yourself as a guest, do you have a guest who has lived for so long?" She was young. She always felt that her parents' home was her own, and there was no need to pay for living expenses, so she really didn't give her mother any money after living in her parents' home for a year. She has also bought clothes for her sister-in-law's two children, but compared to her sister-in-law, she is still a little stingy. Mainly because I was used to being arrogant by my parents before getting married, and I didn't realize many things. Everyone was angry, and what they said was not very pleasant. Xiaoye said to his sister-in-law: "I live in my own house, what are you unhappy about, this is my parents' house, and I don't even look at my surname? Are you an outsider in this family? Instead, run on me. ?" The sister-in-law shouted directly to Xiaoye: "Get out of here and take the child out." "Why should I go? If you want to go, you should go. Even if my brother divorces you, he will still find it." As soon as this sentence was said, Xiao Ye was slapped by his mother, who said with tears in her eyes: "I thought you would be obedient and sensible, but you still don't have a long memory. You want to toss your brother into a divorce? Is it? Your father and I are going to spend the rest of our lives with your brother-in-law and sister-in-law. What about you, you still have to have your own home. Look for a house, find a house, and move out with the children quickly." Xiaoye was stunned, and with her sister-in-law After the breakup, it was her who moved out. Xiaoye's mother is very reasonable in doing so. Xiaoye is indeed spoiled by arrogance. If this continues, the family will not be peaceful. Even if a married daughter is divorced, she can't use her parents' family as a backer, and she won't let Xiaoye suffer, she doesn't even understand the most basic truth. Unhappy marriage, unreliable parents, what is the way out for a woman who divorces with a child? Xiaoye said that he was so miserable, that he had reached the point of nowhere. 02 People need to learn to reflect on themselves. If people like Xiao Ye don't know how to reflect, they will have hard days to come. Can a divorced woman live with her parents for a long time? I personally think that if you are an only child, you can naturally live with your parents, but if there are brothers at home, it is a bit difficult for a woman to live in her parents' home. This also reminds us that it is best to have our own house, even if it is small, it is a nest for us, so that you will not have nowhere to go after a divorce. Like Xiao Ye, although she gets along well with her sister-in-law, the conflict will come out after she has lived in her parents' house for a long time. One is a daughter and the other is a daughter-in-law. It is actually quite difficult for a mother to balance the relationship between them. Without living expenses, Xiao Ye's sister-in-law will of course be unbalanced, plus they have their own children. If the two children are in conflict, it will easily evolve into a estrangement between adults. I suggest that divorced women are better off living alone. It doesn't matter if you are an only child, but if you have brothers at home, you have to consider your mother and sister-in-law or sister-in-law. We live together with our relatives, and there will be many conflicts. Even if we are relatives, there is still a little distance between them. Don’t take everything for granted. We have to admit that in many ways in life, only you are your backer. You have to be strong and learn to control your own life, instead of thinking about relying on your in-laws or your maiden’s family, and your maiden’s family is not a safe haven for you, you still have to go by yourself. Xiaoye can only regard her mother's house as a transition. The best thing she should do is to find a job, rent another house, and then move out and take care of the children by herself. As for her mother's family, because her brother and sister-in-law were there, she could only come back occasionally, and she could not live there. And when you go back to your mother's house, you have to remember to buy something for your sister-in-law and two children, so that you can maintain a harmonious relationship on the surface of a family. It is not easy for a divorced woman, especially a woman who divorces with children. She has to rely on herself for everything. Her parents' home is not your safe haven. You can only strengthen yourself and have no other choice. I know a true story. After her divorce, she has been raising her children by herself, and her parents can't help her, and they are not even willing to accept the child's hukou. She had no choice but to steal her parents' household registration book and quarreled with her parents because of this. Since then, she has been working everywhere with her children, and her life has been miserable. So, you still have to think about it when you want to get a divorce, see if you can bear the consequences and have the confidence to support yourself and your children. 03 There is still another way out for divorced women: if you really can't afford to raise a child or take care of a child, in fact, it is not a bad idea to give the child to the child's father. You don't have to be so stubborn, you must get child custody. You have to take care of yourself first before you can do better for your children. Usually, few people treat their children badly, and they are all flesh and blood. I have a friend who didn't want a child after her divorce. It wasn't because she was cruel, but because she couldn't take care of the child herself. If she can't work if she wants children, then she can't live on her own. She ran from her hometown to Shenzhen to find a job. In the past few years, her plan was to stabilize herself first, wait for her life to get better, and then decide whether to take the child over. She never thought about remarriage, she knew that her chances of meeting love and a good man were too low. Even if she remarried, it was very likely that she would jump into the fire pit. She was afraid and no longer had extravagant hopes for marriage. As for the future, her plan is to make more money to strengthen herself, and when she earns more money, she will be able to love her children more. A divorced woman, you can't rely on your parents' family, you can only rely on yourself. So after divorce, you can't give up on yourself, and you can't be worse than before. For a divorced woman, you can only make yourself stronger and live by yourself, otherwise why would you want a divorce? So I advise many women to think clearly when they want to get a divorce, instead of getting a divorce without thinking about anything. Figure out a way out for yourself. If you need help from your parents' family, you have to "do a little fu low" to deal with your sister-in-law or sister-in-law. There is no way, you have to bow your head under the roof of others. Look at your situation objectively, and consider whether you are suitable for child custody. The most important thing is that you are yourself. You have money and a house, and if you say anything, you will not be cornered. It’s good to save more money and have some money in your hand, but you must also have a good attitude, and the days will pass. What do you want? May every divorced woman be treated kindly by her parents, and at the same time hope that they can become stronger and become their own backers. Today's topic: After a divorce, will I be disgusted by taking my child back to my parents' house? Welcome to leave a message. - END - ★ Author: YIBAO; emotional original author, writing warm emotional things in this world.

(Responsible editor:Working women)

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