The unspoken rules of the relationship between men and women: the more a little love is born, the easier it is to go to the end

time:2022-12-02 23:42:15 author:Girl
The unspoken rules of the relationship between men and women: the more a little love is born, the easier it is to go to the end

Love is never the more intimate the better. The male and female protagonists in the movie "I Actually Don't Know You" are very in love with each other, but because their marriage has gone through many years, their relationship has become very close, which makes their way of getting along with each other stiffened. After a man comes home from get off work, the woman greets him on the surface, but when the husband is washing, he checks his mobile phone and smells the perfume of other women on him; although the man treats his wife gently on the surface, he When the wife went to the kitchen to cook, she immediately picked up her phone to see if there was anything suspicious. The marriage has been like this, there is only mutual suspicion, and there is no sweetness of mutual trust, but in fact, they both love each other very much, but because they are too close, they forget how to deal with the marriage correctly. It can be seen that the relationship between men and women is not close or good, too close will be too much. Psychological research shows that the unspoken rules of the relationship between men and women, the more the love is born, the easier it is to go to the end, and the reasons are as follows.

A little bit of love will understand the importance of seeking common ground while reserving differences

In "Gold Medal Mediation", the famous mediator Hu Jianyun once said : "Traditional families seem to have a misunderstanding of privilege. Because everyone lives together for a long time, they will unconsciously think that you are mine, and I want to possess you more and control you." This is actually a loss of distance. If you feel that the relationship between the other party and yourself is particularly close, you can tacitly assume that you can "do whatever you want"; you feel that the relationship with each other is close enough, so no matter what you do, you have no fear, and you feel that the other party will accept you unconditionally. As a result, they will only think about themselves, and force others to like themselves with the things they like, and force the other person not to be contaminated by the things they don't like. This way of handling will make the other party feel depressed for a long time, because the coercive party only considers his own feelings and ignores the feelings of the other half. Even if two people in love have a very close relationship, they are essentially two independent individuals, just like the facets of a diamond. Although no trace can be seen when they are united, they can still be separated and remain independent. Therefore, we should not let two people become a community in the name of love, but seek the commonality of love on the basis of retaining each other's differences.

If you have a little love, you will understand the importance of "cold treatment"

There is a proper term in psychology called "psychological" Distance", which refers to the need to follow a suitable distance in the process of communication between people. Too far away will be unfamiliar, and too close will be offensive, causing a lot of unnecessary conflict. Therefore, maintaining a close and appropriate psychological distance is conducive to the development of the relationship in a good direction. At this time, a little love becomes even more important. Because the attitude is "live", you will not be overheated when dealing with feelings, you will know that love is not just passion, but too active and enthusiastic, and it is not the best way to achieve a relationship. Lin Huiyin: "Life is always praying for perfection. I feel that a good tea needs a good pot, a good flower needs a good bottle, and a beautiful woman is also a talented person. But I don't know, sometimes regret is a kind of beauty." The same is true for love. , it is not a good thing to be too close, just like a piece of fine porcelain, too delicate, too perfect, it will make us live in shock. Only if we have a little bit of life, only if we learn to deal with feelings in a "cold" way, we will find that if we are properly "cold", we can achieve the warmth we want.

A little love will help you understand the importance of growing together

Luo Zijun in the TV series "The First Half of My Life" is the most important At the beginning, she completely believed and relied on Chen Junsheng. She felt that Chen Junsheng would love her for the rest of her life, and she could always be happy. Who would have thought that reality gave Luo Zijun a blow to the head. Chen Junsheng, whom Luo Zijun trusted so much, finally betrayed himself and his marriage because he had no common language with him. Selfishness is the innate gene of everyone. All relationships in this world are essentially established by value exchange. It can be said that without value exchange, there is no relationship. This is true even in marriage, let alone in romantic relationships. One keeps moving forward and the other stays put. Even if it is very close, it is inevitable that love will fall apart due to the disparity. Therefore, Yang Lan said: "Women must constantly improve their sense of self-worth, self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-love in order to lay a solid foundation in the building of the relationship between the sexes." You can realize the importance of synchronous growth between men and women in a relationship.

(Responsible editor:Divorced women)

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