Couple chat record: the most important way of communication, it hurts feelings

time:2022-12-03 00:34:17 source:chloeaktas.com author:Rich young woman
Couple chat record: the most important way of communication, it hurts feelings

Key words: split, split, combined, buy a house, different questions: After reading today's article, I thought about myself a bit. On-off-off is not firm enough and doesn't know exactly what I want, so I hope to get your advice. He is 94, I am 96, the target is the cousin of the ex-girlfriend husband. At first, he said to give it a try, because he didn’t like it, and felt that he couldn’t talk. The district and county construction sites were not too close, so they talked about breaking up. As a result, he drove to the main city in the early morning to find me and reconcile. I was a little touched. Let's be reconciled. Then it was really nice to me, the kind that couldn't find an excuse to quarrel. Then I didn't expect to be together for two or three years. I was about to buy a house and get married in 2019, but it turned out that their family was reluctant to buy a house in the main city, and then they decided to break up a little. During this period, I was essentially self-centered, pessimistic, and afraid of pain, and I didn’t want to bring a life without the ability, so I had an abortion. But my best friend gave the object a private suggestion, asking him to tell my parents about this matter, I would consider staying, and I would like to stay in the county to buy a house, the family pressure is small, and some other reasons for the object. This feeling of betrayal has been communicated several times, but it has not been discussed well, so I have become an ex-girlfriend who does not disturb. (In the end, I had two surgeries, my parents didn't know.) In the past, he said that he would work hard and gave him a year. Now the quarrels are all, well, I don't cherish the opportunity, and then there is endless silence. Compared with the object, what he cares more about is the friendship with girlfriends since childhood. I hope the suitable object is: 1+1=1, this paragraph is equal to 0.5. The feelings that have been inseparable all the time may be caused by the loneliness of being alone. A: The above story is very typical, many girls are indecisive in a relationship like the heroine, want to leave but can't leave, split and close. Indecision is like a knife cutting flesh, allowing the heroine to stay in this relationship and deplete herself. Even if you stay forever, you won't be able to wait for the future that the heroine wants. We sympathize with the heroine. I share this story from the following three aspects. First, feelings need to go both ways. We can see that the heroine has always been motivated to give up on this relationship. The heroine didn't like her boyfriend at first. After breaking up, her boyfriend drove to the heroine in the early morning to reconcile. The heroine reconciled because she was moved. But moving is not love. Just like what the heroine said later, "then it was really good to me, and I couldn't find an excuse to quarrel. Then I didn't expect to be together for two or three years." What is the subtext of this sentence? In fact, the heroine has always been looking for an excuse to quarrel and an excuse to break up. The heroine actually didn't want to be with boys for so long at first. Then the heroine finally decided to break up in 2019 because of the purchase of a wedding house. But 3 years later, the two have not broken up. Although the heroine wanted to leave, she never left. Because she always wanted to leave, the heroine was not invested in the relationship, and relied on the other party's input to maintain her relationship. But true love needs to go both ways. Now men's willingness to invest is greatly reduced. In the past, the man who quarreled always said that he would work hard and give him another year. Now the quarrel is endless silence. When the man doesn't want to invest at all and wants to break up, the heroine may not want to break up because of loneliness. At that time, the heroine will panic and become very passive. When we decide to be with a person, we should manage this relationship well, which is also responsible for our own life and time. The heroine's statement that she is pessimistic is actually a rhetoric to avoid responsibility. In each relationship, we manage with heart and continuously improve our emotional ability, instead of passively enjoying the other party's unilateral contribution. In this way, even if you break up, when you meet the next person you like, you will have the ability and confidence to go both ways. Second, negative communication. We also wish the heroine a happy future, and negative communication affects happiness. For example, in the chat screenshot, the heroine said to her boyfriend when she broke up with her boyfriend, "After May 1, I will bring a 180-year-old little brother who has bought a house to meet you." This is a typical negative communication, which is angry and hurtful People are self-respecting, and they pick on each other's pain points. The female lead should stay or leave, and even if she wants to leave, there is no need to say such angry words. This is not a fight between two children when I was a child. Adults must have the way of decision and communication as adults. If it doesn't work, let's go. Negative communication again and again, on and off, consumes patience and feelings. Third, women's self-attack after abortion. We don't know whether the heroine's negative communication is because she has learned this communication mode since she was a child, or whether the abortion has an effect on her. A person's aggression, either inward or outward. After a girl has an abortion, if she does not properly handle her emotions and follow-up matters, such as receiving psychological counseling, her aggression is likely to turn inward and start self-attack. Self-attack will lead to the tearing of the [My Group] in the body. The intellectual [ego] and the emotional [ego] are constantly in conflict. The rational [ego] will tell myself that it is because of my inability to bring a life, but the emotional [ego] will feel sad, guilty, and even angry. When a person cannot bear self-attack, she is likely to attack externally and vent her emotions. Therefore, if the female lead completes the integration of [My Group], it can be done through psychological counseling and other methods. Only after the integration is completed, the heroine's heart will be at peace, and she will have more power to make decisions, and she will not be afraid to face many things alone. Bless the heroine ~ the creative team | Leng Ai Fang Shang Qian Qian Ke Hui

(Responsible editor:Housewife)

Related content