When it comes to your ex, these 3 reactions of a woman will make a man give up on her

time:2022-12-02 06:37:10 source:chloeaktas.com author:A solitary woman
When it comes to your ex, these 3 reactions of a woman will make a man give up on her

"My boyfriend's ex came to him again and said he was in trouble and asked him to help. Should I let him go?" "My boyfriend was recently discovered by me to be secretly in contact with his ex. They won't have anything, right?" Boyfriend is always unable to let go of his ex, and feels that it is a pity to break up with his ex, will he go back to eat grass again?" About the ex, it is a thorn in many people's hearts, a "landmine" of a relationship, and it may detonate the relationship at any time. Can't even mention it. There is no such thing as a saying that your girlfriend asks you to talk about your ex, this is a proposition, as long as you show a little affection for your ex, you are finished. But even if he doesn't say it, who knows if the other party still misses his ex? Have you made a secret comparison between your ex and your current one? And if the partner's ex is constantly entangled, this "landmine" is even more lethal. Xinxin encountered this headache recently. Once, when her boyfriend didn't turn off the screen of her mobile phone, she accidentally saw someone chatting with her boyfriend, and only after asking did she find out that it was her ex-girlfriend. The boyfriend kept apologizing, saying that his ex-girlfriend had been having a bad time recently, so he just chatted with him casually. He just dealt with it a few words, and took the initiative to delete the contact information of his ex-girlfriend. But Xinxin was still upset and couldn't sleep well. Evil thoughts keep popping up: "Will they secretly add them back?" "That woman is too shameless, she has already split up, what is she doing to pester him?" In fact, we all understand that we are afraid of "ex" , to be precise, it is the fear that the partner's heart is biased towards the ex, the ex will take away the partner, and let the emotional results we have paid become the wedding dress of others. Then, what should a smart woman do to make the balance in the object's heart favor her? 01

Recognize the reality and stabilize your mentality

No matter how unforgettable a man has in the past with his ex, she is also in the past tense, and you are the "current". In other words, there must be something wrong with the ex in some way for this man. No matter how your predecessor "does it", the current time, place, and people are all on your side, why are you panicking? Many people forget the fact that the reason why the ex is the ex is not because you are better than the other party and pushed the other person out, but because the ex and your partner have irreconcilable contradictions themselves, and you have reached the step of breaking up. And the reason why you become the incumbent is that you must have something very attractive and suitable for the other party. This is your natural advantage. That is to say, your predecessor was an "attacker" and you were a "defender". Attacking is always more difficult than defending. What you need to defend is to play steadily and stabilize your mentality first. On the other hand, for many women, when their ex made a fuss, they made a mess of themselves, boosted other people's ambition, and destroyed their own prestige. The other party hasn't done anything yet, and he has already been crying, making trouble, and hanging himself. Comparing with the other party to see who's doing better, he smashed a good hand. The more you do it, the more you fall into the favor of your ex. Even if your partner was originally on your side, when you compare it, you will find that you are too naive. "Children who love to cry have milk to eat", that is raising children, not dealing with objects; comparing who is better than who is playing games, not falling in love. Many women smell the smell of their ex, and unconsciously want to compare with their ex who has a higher position in a man's heart. The problem is that who is more important is not something you press your head to force the other party to admit, or whoever can cry the more you can get it. Your goal is to convince a man that you are a better choice than your ex. When you are as steady as Mount Tai, not in a hurry, and your ex has no choice but to use all kinds of tactics, you will naturally collapse and reveal flaws. Crying your ex won't make you lose, it will help you and give your partner a chance to see your strengths. 02

Help your partner decompress rather than put pressure

Many people think that they can have a relationship and a lover because of themselves Enough and self-disciplined. In fact, what attracts a partner may depend on being good, while maintaining a relationship depends on how you feel when you're with you. The reason why people need intimacy is not to find a good person to be there, but to need someone who can understand and accept themselves, and to be seen and empathized with their emotions. Whoever can win your partner's heart with your ex is not based on who is better and more beautiful, but who can help your partner decompress better and who can see and understand your partner better. In "The Legend of Zhen Huan", Concubine Hua repeatedly bullied Concubine Hua, and Zhen Huan hated Concubine Hua to the bone, but even if Concubine Hua stepped on her head, even if the emperor already favored Zhen Huan, when the time was not ripe, Zhen Huan never put pressure on the emperor. Even when the emperor wanted to punish Concubine Hua, Zhen Huan also dissuaded the emperor on the grounds that the court needed the service of Concubine Hua's elder brother Nian Gengyao, which moved the emperor and made him feel guilty. Although the emperor treated Zhen Huan badly for the time being, who would the emperor's heart be more inclined to? It is certain that a man is under pressure when his predecessor comes to do it. At the same time, men are also making comparisons in their hearts to see which one is more suitable for them, the ex and the current one. When a man is entangled by an ex, you have to express that understanding the other party is under pressure, believing that the other party has his own measure, and that the other party will not be sorry for you. Everyone wants to be trusted by others, and no one likes the feeling of being doubted and questioned. Xinxin, mentioned at the beginning of this article, later took a completely different attitude towards her boyfriend. She first thanked her boyfriend for taking the initiative to delete her ex's contact information, and expressed to her boyfriend: "I feel that you really care about me." At the same time, she also told her boyfriend: "Although I am really afraid that she will take you away, I also believe in you. If you really can't bear it and want to help her, I believe you will grasp the limit and won't cross the line." She said so As soon as I said it, my boyfriend was very moved, and he never contacted his ex again. Remember, making noise and forcibly stopping it may be effective in a short time, but it is already "burying mines" in your relationship. Accusing and complaining are taboos in the relationship, which will inevitably push the relationship between the two of you further and further. If a man's heart is not with you, his body will run away sooner or later. 03

Focus on Self

Men and women alike can’t help but turn their attention to others when their feelings are threatened. Staring to see if there is any change in your partner, if your rival has new tricks, will undoubtedly make you worry about gains and losses, lose control of your emotions, and even have no intention to do what you need to do. But you must know that other people are uncontrollable, we cannot control other people's behavior, let alone control other people's thoughts. But always paying attention to others is trying to control an impossible thing, and the only one who loses control can only be yourself. And now that the Internet and technology are developed, how can it be possible to really control others? You can change your WeChat account, you can prepare two mobile phones, you can go out on a date in the name of work, and no one can stare at others 24 hours a day. And being too concerned about other people's behavior will also make oneself cup bow and snake shadow. When the other party smiles at the phone, you are sad; when the other party comes home an hour late, you become suspicious; when the other party dresses up before going out, you treat him as ready to cheat... Sometimes what really hurts is not necessarily the truth , but the imagination in your own mind. These nonsense thoughts make people feel like they are on an emotional roller coaster, going up and down, and it is easy for people to be full of resentment. Even if you know, it's not really possible to be calm and emotionally stable in this defense of your ex. By focusing on yourself, you can effectively avoid these possibilities. Focus on what you want to do right now, what you want to eat, how you can make yourself happier, and how you can nourish yourself. Before you know it, you will find that your mood is stable, your mood is open, and you can watch the drama calmly about your ex's "demonstration". The more relaxed you are without stressing your partner, the more likely you are to gain your partner's loyalty. And your attitude of enjoying life comfortably and loving yourself also forms a special magnetic field that makes your relationship healthier and more stable. Your predecessor, this "forbidden area" in many people's minds, occasionally eating a little vinegar is fun, but it's a big deal. You must understand that your partner is your ally. The real mines that can affect intimate relationships are inappropriate communication, mutual incomprehension and non-acceptance, mutual suspicion and control, not an ex. When we can complete the homework of "ex", we can truly cultivate intimacy and obtain beautiful feelings. Author | Zhi Shui Healer, holds the Chinese Academy of Sciences psychological counselor qualification certificate, IHNMA international hypnotist qualification certificate, dedicated to exploring the depth and greatness of human nature. The illustrations in this article, any website, newspaper, TV station, company, organization or individual, may not be used in part or in whole without authorization.

(Responsible editor:Housewife)

Related content