After a divorce, who wants to remarry more, a man or a woman? The answer is realistic

time:2022-12-02 23:25:43 source:chloeaktas.com author:Rich young woman
After a divorce, who wants to remarry more, a man or a woman? The answer is realistic

Key words: Second marriage or not 01. Reader letter to Kai brother Hello, I have been divorced twice, and I am very sad. He and I are both married for the second time, I have no children, he has a 10-year-old daughter, and he had a foreign debt of 400,000 when he first married him. My father-in-law passed away shortly after we got married, and I have taken care of my mother-in-law and his daughter since then. A year later we had a son, 3 years later we paid off all our debts and bought a house and a car. But I found him cheating several times in the past few years, and I chose to forgive him. After that, I found that he became more and more impatient with me. I wanted to communicate with him, but he was always impatient. He didn't want to listen after a few words, saying that money didn't limit my spending, and that it wasn't bad for me. But every time I spend money I have to question what I bought. This year I really had enough, we started arguing and I filed for divorce. I asked for the child and 800,000 in cash. I didn't want the company, car, or house, but he still hadn't given me the money. Now friends are persuading us to remarry, but I hope to sign a remarriage agreement, otherwise the previous divorce agreement will take effect. My agreement is as follows: 1. Do not betray the other party during the marriage, otherwise the betrayal party will leave the house and confiscate the custody of the child. 2. The previous divorce agreement is invalid! He does not agree to sign this agreement, because the house and company have my name, which is superfluous, and he will definitely continue to help him manage the company after remarriage. But I chose to give up because I took care of the family and then helped him manage the company, and finally I didn't get respect. And now that I have studied as a babysitter, I can also find a job outside. I don't want to remarry, I am afraid that I will lose my bottom line. But my sister is also divorced, and I'm divorced twice now. I'm afraid my parents won't be able to bear it. Brother Kai, what do you think I should do? 02. Kai Zi replied to the girl hello, I have experienced two failed marriages, and it is true that people will be disappointed in marriage, but let's take a look at why marriage fails. Judging from your description of your second husband, he is a relatively capable man. He owed foreign debts when you were together, but a few years ago you started a company and bought a house and a car. From this perspective, there is no doubt that you have found a potential stock, and with him, you can also enjoy a relatively superior life. But you are having a bad time. Since you didn't say exactly what happened, I think there are just a few possibilities. 1. After he turned over, the man's problems began to expand, he became self-righteous, and he ignored you more and more, so he cheated frequently. 2. The woman's problem In your life and his life, you constantly emphasize your own efforts and sacrifices, and you hope to get more return from him. Before knowing the details, I can't blindly judge who has more problems between you. From your point of view, you helped him take care of his daughter and mother-in-law, and you went through the hardest days with him. You really paid a lot. He shouldn't treat you like this. From his point of view, there is nothing to say about the house he bought with your name, because it is the joint property of the husband and wife after marriage. But his company also added your name. From this, it can be seen that he is grateful to you and has not crossed the river and demolished the bridge. Then here we look at the two details you mentioned: 1. He is unwilling to communicate with you, he is impatient after saying a few words, and he is unwilling to listen. So what are you talking about? What was the reason he didn't want to listen. Generally speaking, there is only one reason why the other party is unwilling to listen, that is, what you say will make him uncomfortable or unhappy. For example, you are accusing him, scolding him, ordering him, despising him, etc. I guess it's possible that you're constantly stressing your efforts with him, blaming him for not having enough time with him, and not expressing gratitude for your efforts. Like you said, you did so much without getting his respect. The reason why you feel this way must be that he cannot meet your needs. Therefore, perhaps in your daily life, there are also such dissatisfaction and complaints. Then it is not difficult to understand why he is reluctant to communicate with you. Although what you said is true and you worked hard, it cannot be denied that he is also paying for this family. 2. Every time you spend money, you have to ask what you spent? I don't know how much you spend every time you are talking about what kind of food you buy every day, and how many cans of milk powder you buy for your children. Or do you sometimes only ask when you spend a lot of money, or when your expenses exceed expectations. After all, there is a big difference between the two. For the former, then he is really too controlling, and he has to ask about the trivial expenses of life. This really does not trust you, and he does not respect you. The latter, that is, when you spend money without restraint, you also do not consider his feelings. Now let's talk about your remarriage agreement. First of all, we do not say whether this agreement has any legal effect. You ask him to cheat again, get him out of the house and forfeit child custody. From the words you use, you can see that you have a lot of hatred for him in your heart, and you can't wait to punish him. If so, what's the point of your remarriage? Secondly, from another perspective, what is the significance of his remarriage? You yourself said that he cheated many times, then you have to understand that he actually has more choices than you. In other words, think about it, remarriage is better for the two of you, who is more beneficial? Obviously it's you. Although you said that you are now a babysitter, you can find a job outside, and you do not want to remarry. But I have to remind you that the job of a babysitter is a confinement nanny. If you want to do this job, it means going to the employer's house to take care of the child for a whole month. Then who will take care of your child? You say you don't want to remarry, you are afraid of losing your bottom line, of course, you can choose not to remarry, and it's good to live with children. Let him give you the hundreds of thousands, and you can live well, and there is really no need to go back to this marriage. It's just that you have to think about whether the reason for your divorce is because you haven't figured out what the "bottom line" is? On the surface, it seems that the other party is constantly cheating, and you forgive again and again. But is it because you need the other person to respect your "bottom line" too much, and hope that he can always take care of your emotions and your feelings, is this the reason why your relationship has come this far? Because the letter you wrote to me is really too simple, I cannot make a specific judgment. You may think twice about my suggestions, and I hope you can make a decision that suits you. In addition, I also want to remind you, may wish to review, what are the commonalities of your two failed marriages? A lot of times, it's the same cause after another relationship failure. As long as you don't deal with this reason, then not only these two marriages fail, but every one of your marriages will fail. I don't know what everyone will think of this story. Do you think she is going to remarry? And are the conditions for her remarriage reasonable? If you, like her, are in a dilemma in a marriage, you can privately message me, and I will help you analyze what went wrong, teach you how to deal with it, and avoid making the wrong choice.

(Responsible editor:Single woman)

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