In these 3 principles, if a woman makes one work, the relationship between the two will be better

time:2022-12-02 09:45:26 author:Rich young woman
In these 3 principles, if a woman makes one work, the relationship between the two will be better

Women who mention love in a relationship "make" often give people a bad impression: too many things, troublesome, unable to live a stable life, and have to make a good life mess up. Maybe her partner answers a phone call from the opposite sex, and she will make up a big bullshit drama; her partner has been on a business trip for a few days, and she calls anytime and anywhere to ask the other party to report the address; Compliments will make her feel uncomfortable for hours, the more she thinks about it, the more sad she becomes, and eventually she bursts into tears for no reason. Because of this, many women themselves are also very disgusted with women who love to "make". If they hear that someone is always "make" in a relationship, they will somewhat despise them. Typically, like Yi Nengjing, who is well-known in the entertainment industry as a "successor", legends of her various dramas are circulating in the rivers and lakes. Everyone feels that they can't avoid it. Some of her words and deeds even caused heated discussions on the Internet. But the strange thing is that her marriage is notoriously happy, and her husband Qin Hao also has a very good fortune. It can be seen that it is not that one cannot "do" at all in a relationship, and it is not that a "doing" relationship will be broken. In my understanding, "make" refers to emotional venting, and the manifestations of this venting are often somewhat unusual. For example, crying over small things, holding on to small accidents and small mistakes that others seem indifferent to... Women, as the more emotional party, always remain calm and magnanimous, and never "do", which is actually not realistic. Occasional "working" is like adding some seasoning to ordinary life, which can make life more enjoyable, but "working" also has limitations, especially the following three principles must be observed. 01

Attitude can be done, but mind should be sober

As mentioned earlier, when a woman "does", it refers to a kind of Emotional release. Life is stressful, and it is inevitable that you will suffer some grievances. If these depression and anger can be properly expressed and not kept in your heart, it will actually be helpful for improving your relationship. But the premise of doing this is that you clearly know where the problem is and that you also have to take some responsibility, not everything is the fault of the other party, and then express your emotions appropriately. For example, there is a lady who is particularly dissatisfied that her husband is not romantic enough. Just after Valentine's Day, I got into trouble with my husband because I saw my best friend's Valentine's Day in the circle of friends was very nourishing. When her husband asked her the reason, she didn't say anything, just sullenly. Does this lady do it? It's very good, she's sulking for no reason, she can't communicate, she can't tell the reason, and she achieves what she wants: her husband becomes a little more romantic, but it doesn't help her. But her dissatisfaction was also expressed euphemistically when she was in trouble. At this time, she was unhappy when she was unhappy. She didn't want to pretend to be happy. She was very real. At the same time, her mind is clear, and she will not really imagine her husband to be useless because he is not romantic enough. She knew that although her husband was not romantic enough, he at least had other advantages. When she was calm, she was content and cherished, so this kind of "action" would not matter. Just like Yi Nengjing, not only did others know that she "made", but she actually knew it herself. So after repeatedly making a little bit of a temper with Qin Hao, even if Qin Hao ruthlessly exposes it, she will not be sullen or annoyed. She was like Mingjing in her heart, it was nothing more than the fact that the other party didn't cooperate with her body, but she was very satisfied with her husband in other respects. So it's a little "work", it's just a small adjustment in life, it won't rise to mutual personal attacks, and it won't directly hurt the intimate relationship. 02

When "acting", don't touch the other party's bottom line

We have heard such topics around us or on the Internet, and some women do whatever they want. Yes, boyfriends will spoil him unconditionally, making many people envious. And some women will be disgusted and disgusted if they play a little bit of temperament, which makes people completely unbearable. Why is it the same as "being fine", and the treatment of people is so different? This involves the issue of the bottom line. People are different, and everyone's bottom line and boundaries are also different. Just like some women will feel that the object is a little lazy and makes less money, that's all, cheating is absolutely unbearable. Similarly, if a woman always jumps wildly on the minefield that the other party cannot tolerate and challenges the other party's bottom line, even if the other party does not immediately cut off the relationship, the relationship between the two will definitely be hit hard, causing the two to drift further apart. I know of a couple, the husband is fine except for one thing, that he pays great attention to his face in front of outsiders, and his family ugliness must not be made public. If you don't give him face in front of outsiders, he will be very uncomfortable. This is the bottom line and boundary of that gentleman. He felt that his wife could make a fuss at his home, and he absolutely couldn't let him get off the stage outside. Once, when the two of them were eating out, they had a conflict while paying the bill, and they almost quarreled in public. After a few quarrels, the gentleman said in a low voice, "We have to quarrel at home, not here." His wife immediately understood that arguing outside would make her husband feel very shameless, so he would pay attention to it. All on the matter of losing face, he won't solve the problem with her properly, and he won't reflect on himself. Maybe she can seize this handle to make the other party bow, but it is definitely not conducive to the real resolution of the conflict between the two. When his wife encounters something uncomfortable, she will quarrel at home, accuse him, and run away from home because of a trivial matter; through this "do" at the right time, vent her emotions and express her dissatisfaction, but even the big thing is not enough. Don't make a fuss in front of others outside. This wife's approach is a very correct textbook-style "work". There are so many ways to vent your emotions. Unless you are determined to part ways with the other party, why should you choose a way that will touch the other party's bottom line? 03

After "doing" it, do the aftermath work

Sometimes emotions have already arisen, and it is uncomfortable to hold back without venting. And when the emotions have flowed out and the act of "making" has been completed, the aftermath work is very important. Many women themselves know that "acting" for no reason is very disgusting. If the other party is more tolerant to them, or if they hurt the other party when "acting", they must express their gratitude or apology. For example, because the other party has said a few words to the opposite sex, he is upset, his face is shaken, and his speech is yin and yang, which is no problem. But when the matter is over, you get angry and you do it too. You have to give the other person a step down and let them know that you don't want to hurt him either, you are just emotionally out of control. You can say to the other person: "I am a bit stingy and jealous." You can also say: "I know you don't do anything. It's not that I don't trust you, it's just that I like to think wildly." In this way, the other party will Know that you are not completely unreasonable, you will empathize with your emotions, and you will be more considerate of you next time. At the same time, it will also have an understanding and tolerance for your "doing". Next time you want to do it again, the other party will remember what you have said before, and can also calmly face your "doing evil". You give the other person a step down, and you show a minefield that you are easy to "make". This is a very effective communication, which is very helpful for you to improve your tacit understanding. The reason why "zuo" is disgusting is because in most people's cognition, it belongs to looking for trouble, it belongs to picking nits in the relationship, and doing small damage to the relationship. If you can make the other party feel that the reason for "doing" is because you care, then you can change the other party's cognition and make the other party feel that "doing" is innocuous, just a little fun for a young couple. Just like in the popular sweet pet dramas and idol dramas, if there are various scenes of young couples being angry and jealous of each other, the audience will think it is very nice. Because their misunderstanding will eventually be resolved, and after hurting each other, they will still have sweet love. In short, a small "Zuo" is happy, and a big "Zuo" hurts the body. On the basis of the above three principles, it is a happy thing for a woman to do nothing, and occasionally make trouble unreasonably, but be tolerated and accepted by the other party. Learn to understand the proportions, know how to advance and retreat, even if you are a "little master" in the relationship, you can still make your relationship comfortable and sweet. Author | Zhi Shui Healer, holds the Chinese Academy of Sciences psychological counselor qualification certificate, IHNMA international hypnotist qualification certificate, dedicated to exploring the depth and greatness of human nature. The illustrations in this article, any website, newspaper, TV station, company, organization or individual, may not be used in part or in whole without authorization.

(Responsible editor:Single woman)

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