The standard for measuring friendship outside of marriage, whether it is ambiguous: the sense of boundaries

time:2022-12-03 00:07:04 source:chloeaktas.com author:Girl
The standard for measuring friendship outside of marriage, whether it is ambiguous: the sense of boundaries

Sometimes, when we get along with others, it is easy to lose a sense of proportion, and then the relationship with each other will cross the line. If they stay when they are both still single, then if the relationship between friends of the opposite sex "crosses the line", it will make the relationship develop in a good direction, because some people are embarrassed to say it. Exit, just wait for the other party to pierce this layer of window paper, so "crossing the border" can break this layer of imprisonment. But if one or both parties have a destination, then if you don't pay attention to the control of a sense of distance at this time, it will easily make the relationship between friends unbalanced, and then hurt innocent people. The way of thinking of adults should tend to be rational, so they should know what to do and what not to do, instead of letting their mood do whatever they want. In a relationship between the two sexes, the criterion for measuring the ambiguousness of friendship outside of marriage is to see whether two people have a sense of boundaries.

Losing the sense of borderline friendship means "crossing the border"

Xu Huanshan and Lin You in the TV series "Thirty Only" They were friends at the beginning. The two met when Xu Huanshan was on a business trip to Beijing. At that time, Xu Huanshan felt that Lin Youyou's youthfulness and ignorance when he had just entered the society was very interesting to him. The atmosphere of chatting together is also good, so I started to have a good impression after going back and forth. Later, Lin Youyou resigned from Beijing and came to Xu Huanshan's place of work. The exchanges between the two became more frequent, and Xu Huanshan's wife was relatively strong, so he could not feel a sense of existence in this marriage, and he urgently needed A breakthrough to express their value needs, and Lin Youyou is a good sustenance. So, Xu Huanshan forgot that he already had a family and that he had a lovely child, and he started a relationship that he shouldn't have. Friendship is different from love. Friendship means that two people can help each other, or they can talk to each other about unhappy things. However, they will always keep a sense of distance from each other, but love is different. Love is a world of two people, it is two people. The thing is that each other will shorten the distance between themselves and the other person. The relationship between the opposite sex is based on good feelings. If you are not careful, it will develop in a different direction. If you lose the sense of boundary at this time, then the friendship will evolve into an unwanted relationship.

The relationship outside of marriage is just a "self-satisfied" companionship

Like Xu Huanshan, he is because of Gu Jia's He was strong and felt that he had no sense of existence in the marriage, so when Lin Youyou, who was less capable than himself, appeared by his side, he almost did not hesitate to start this relationship that he should not have. It stands to reason that if a friend of the opposite sex crosses the border, it means a change of heart in marriage, and a change of heart means no love, then if you don't love, you can leave, but Xu Huanshan doesn't. He never said anything to Lin Youyou about "I will divorce and marry you", let alone anything like divorce to Gu Jia. Even when the incident happened, Xu Huanshan immediately deleted Lin Youyou. , and repeatedly told Gu Jia that he would never contact Lin Youyou again in the future, praying for Gu Jia's forgiveness. It can be seen from this that we can see that all the feelings outside of marriage are just short-term freshness at work. The two have lived together for a long time, and the original passion has already disappeared. Therefore, there is a When we have different feelings, it will definitely wake up our dusty hearts for a long time. But in the emotional world of adults, weighing the pros and cons and avoiding the disadvantages are the most routine operations. People know in their hearts what they have that can make them lose the least, and what they lose will make them lose the most. The host Dou Wentao once said this when talking about marriage on "The Round Table School": "The most terrible thing about marriage is not the income gap between the two, but the fact that they live together clearly, but the distance is getting farther and farther. .” In a marriage, it is not the sudden disasters that break it apart, but the trivial things in the daily life, and then accumulate again and again, until the disease is terminally ill and there is no cure.

Good marriages often stay in the details

John Gutmann in his book "Happy Marriage" A saying goes like this: "The secret to a successful marriage is not to resolve conflicts, but to get along with each other and the devilish details." In fact, no matter how happy a marriage is, there will be times when it will enter a period of burnout. It also looks like a car. It will definitely be damaged in the process of driving. What we need to do is to maintain it continuously to make it tough, instead of thinking about replacing it as soon as there is a problem. Therefore, we should automatically keep our distance from those feelings outside of marriage, and focus on the person who has been by our side all the time, to jointly manage the beauty that belongs to two people.

(Responsible editor:Rich young woman)

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