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To win back a man's heart, these three are the key and difficult points. Once they are resolved, they will be stable.

time：2023-03-26 14:04:08 source：chloeaktas.com author：Single woman

To win back a man's heart, these three are the key and difficult points. Once they are resolved, they will be stable.

I once saw a request for help on the Internet. A woman was very insecure in her relationship and could not help but want to control and monitor her boyfriend. After arguing with her boyfriend again and again and checking and balancing each other, her boyfriend couldn't bear to break up, and his attitude of breaking up was very decisive, and he made it clear that he would not turn back. The lady regrets it very much and understands that her boyfriend is in good condition in all aspects. She said that she had put her posture low enough, and she had nothing to say, and she cried and apologized, and promised not to do it again in the future. But her boyfriend was not only unmoved, but also blocked her directly and refused to get back together. The lady later changed her trumpet and added her boyfriend back. This time, she didn't dare to talk nonsense anymore, so she asked for help online, asking everyone how to win her boyfriend's heart. The woman's recovery experience shows a mindset of many people: when the other half takes the initiative to break up, and she is the one who was dumped, she can only use a low-level attitude to seek reconciliation, and all kinds of guarantees will never commit the same thing again. error, not necessarily success. Like a beggar begging for love. If the other party doesn't accept the move, they will continue to stalk them, and some people even coerce the other party to compromise by hurting themselves, crying, making trouble, and hanging themselves. Can do so, how effective? Only saying "I know I was wrong, I will never do this again", can you really gain the trust of the other party? It must not be the first time to make a mistake when it comes to breaking up. The other party has also accumulated a lot of disappointment, even to the point of despair, and the relationship between the two has reached a precarious point. As for the drama of some women crying, making trouble and hanging themselves, if the other party is a soft-hearted person, it may be successful. But the other party is being coerced into reconciliation, unwilling, and there will always be a separation in their hearts. Although they reunite temporarily, they are already laying the ground for the next breakup. And by being low and small to get the forgiveness of the other party and lose self-esteem, how can I be reconciled? Who doesn't want to double up on getting it back in the days to come? Such a compound, from the beginning, went in the wrong direction. The breakup itself is because of an unhealthy pattern in the relationship. Even if you get back together, you must repair these inappropriate places and let the relationship develop in a positive direction. Seek reconciliation with an attitude of equality, respect and sincerity, and your future relationship will become more and more positive. 01

Sincerely reflect on the reasons for breaking up

There are many people who also mention their mistakes in the relationship and shortcoming. But many people just want to give each other a step down, and they don't have a deep understanding of the other party's anger and disappointment, and the real reason why the two broke up. When the other party can't see your sincerity and knows that you are perfunctory him again, of course he will not agree to get back together casually. As the netizen who asked for help mentioned at the beginning of the article, on the surface, she is too much and likes to control her boyfriend. She apologizes to her boyfriend and promises that she will never spy on her in the future. In fact, the other party has given her many opportunities, but obviously she has not done it. What she needs to do is to deeply reflect on the real reason for the breakup. For example, she can say to her boyfriend: "I know that the reason you are angry is that I don't trust you, I think you are too scumbag, and I don't have the least trust and respect for our relationship, and I don't care about you. There is no recognition." In this way, her boyfriend will feel that his anger is understood, and it is not cruel and unreasonable for her to break up, and she will be given the opportunity to continue to express. This netizen can further reflect: "Actually, the real reason is that I don't believe in myself, I have no confidence in myself, I feel that I am not attractive enough to be comparable to others, so I act like I don't believe you and always want to control you. "If she can express it like this, her boyfriend can understand her pain, her vulnerability, and her immature behavior. And I believe that she has really reflected on herself. Wouldn't this make her more confident in the future relationship between the two? You may only be given a chance when the other person believes you can improve those uncomfortable areas by re-establishing the relationship. 02

Empathize with each other's feelings

If two people who were originally in a good relationship go to the point of breaking up, both parties will feel very uncomfortable and sad. And if one party will break up, it must have accumulated a lot of anger, disappointment, and grievance. If you can't empathize with the other person's feelings, those emotions can become a thorn in your heart, preventing you from coming together again. Some women can't accept the man's emotions very much. They feel that the other party's emotions are stingy and not like a man, and even criticize the other party: "As for being so angry?" The other party's emotions will not disappear, and he will feel more aggrieved. If you are angry, you will feel: "You have done these good things, you are reasonable?" Therefore, the party seeking reconciliation must allow the other party to have emotions, see the other party's emotions, and let the emotions flow. For example, you can say to the other party: "You must be very wronged and angry when I do this..." The other party will soon feel empathized by you, and those negative feelings that were originally held up can be released and expressed, and the mood will be relieved. It will calm down a lot. I heard that a lady cheated in marriage and was discovered by her husband. The husband didn't say much, and directly filed for divorce. Obviously, the husband's anger was not seen and understood at all. He held his breath and decided to do it naturally and resolutely. If the lady wants to ask for forgiveness, she must see her husband's anger and powerlessness, understand her husband's self-attack of "I must be bad, she will betray me", and help her husband come out, only then can she get her husband's forgiveness . 03

Express the measures to improve the relationship

As we mentioned earlier, the reason why the other party will forgive you and turn back is that he can see the hope of improving the relationship. I believe that you will not continue such a painful relationship in the future. Therefore, it is not enough to show your sincerity, but also to suggest concrete and actionable steps on how to improve the relationship. Some men were broken up and asked to get back together because they liked chatting, and they just said: "I will never chat with other women in the future", which is a very unfeasible measure. In this era, to work, buy things, and live, it is inevitable to join WeChat and communicate on WeChat. No one would believe him if he said he would never chat with a woman again. The only feasible measures he could come up with were that all the female friends he added could be checked by his girlfriend, and the chat records could be checked by the other party at any time, so as to ensure that he would only talk to others about business affairs and not gossip. Likewise, a woman asking for reconciliation also proposes specific measures for improvement. If your boyfriend hates that you are always suspicious and monitoring each other, you can propose that in the future, when the other party is working or doing business, not to call and disturb the other party. Unless there is a 100,000 urgent matter, there is no need for the other party to report where and what to do every day. If the other party wants to break up because of cheating, then you must ensure that you are completely disconnected from that person, you can let the other party check his mobile phone, and usually don’t go out on a date with the opposite sex after work... In short, when proposing improvement measures, The attitude must be sincere and the plan feasible. Note that you are not communicating as a weak person, but voluntarily changing for the sake of win-win and long-term relationship development. At the same time, your emotions should be stable enough, and don’t agree to things that you can’t do. If the requirements of the other party have gone far beyond your boundaries, don't aggrieve yourself for the sake of reconciliation, and reluctantly agree to the other party's conditions, otherwise you will break up again. If the relationship is really inappropriate, there is no need to restore it. We all know a saying that feelings are like sand in the hand. The tighter you hold it, the faster it will disperse. And many times, we may not want to save this relationship, but we are not willing to pay the sunk cost, not willing to be dumped and hurt our self-esteem. At any time, the relationship of equality and mutual respect is the most comfortable and most likely to last, and sincerity is the eternal nirvana. When seeking reconciliation, show your sincerity and an equal attitude as much as possible. After such setbacks, your relationship may come to a new realm and truly mature. Author | Zhi Shui Healer, holds the Chinese Academy of Sciences psychological counselor qualification certificate, IHNMA international hypnotist qualification certificate, dedicated to exploring the depth and greatness of human nature. The illustrations in this article, any website, newspaper, TV station, company, organization or individual, may not be used in part or in whole without authorization.

(Responsible editor：A solitary woman)

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