"Married twice, divorced twice": Why your marriages always fail?

time:2023-01-30 05:50:47 source:chloeaktas.com author:Girl
"Married twice, divorced twice": Why your marriages always fail?

Keywords: Divorced twice 01. Reader letter to Kai brother, hello I am 29 years old, working in a public institution, and just ended my second marriage two months ago. In my first marriage, I became pregnant out of wedlock and had to get married. But during the pregnancy, he beat me twice, and after the beating, he knelt on the ground, begging for my forgiveness with snot and tears. At that time, because I was pregnant, I felt that he was very sincere, and my family didn’t want me to divorce, so I forgave him. But when the child was born, he started beating and scolding me again, and he was arguing with me during the confinement period, and the child didn't care at all. I couldn't take it anymore, so I called the police and chose to divorce and leave my son to him. When I was divorced for 3 years, I met my second husband because of work transfer. At that time, he had just divorced and brought a 3-year-old daughter. At first, I didn't plan to find someone with children, but later I thought he was good, and a colleague matched him and confirmed the relationship with him. But I found that I couldn't accept his daughter. Because of his daughter, I broke up with him more than ten times. In the end, I felt that I still loved him too much, so I married him. Before we got married, we agreed to live a two-person world. He agreed not to let me coax his child, and also promised that I would not let my daughter live together. After getting married, he really rarely let his daughter come and put it in his mother's house. At first, I also felt very happy with him. But I feel like I can't trust him because he didn't give me a penny for living expenses after marriage. Even when we went out to see a movie, he said he had no money. In fact, his family was in very good condition. His parents were both civil servants and he had 4 houses. I think his parents may have reservations about me. Because I heard his mother say when he was on the phone with him, don't give me the money for marriage. Although I didn't help him take care of the children after marriage, I often buy things for his daughter, and I think everything is fine. But in just two months, he began to find various reasons to deliberately quarrel with me, saying that I didn't have children, I didn't go to see his parents, and he insisted on divorce. No matter how persuaded it was useless, he also scolded my parents, looked around my relatives, said I was not good, and asked me to get out of his house with something. I couldn't take it anymore, I didn't want a divorce, but once I got divorced, I regretted it. I found that even if he treated me so badly, I still loved him very much. But what about him, he and I divorced for less than three days, and he moved in with his ex-girlfriend. He even boasted to his friends that this woman was good to his daughter and that he had found the right person. I think it's ridiculous, since the ex-girlfriend is friendly, why should she marry me. I'm not yet 30 years old, I've been divorced twice, and I'm under a lot of stress. I have been suffering from insomnia since the divorce, and now I have to take sleeping pills to fall asleep every day. I am really in pain. I can't forget him, and I'm also under a lot of pressure from public opinion. I was very anxious and flustered every day, and I felt like I was depressed. I want to resign and leave the unit, but my family does not agree. I have been suffering. I want to ask Brother Kai, what should I do, it is too painful. 02. Kai Zi replied to the girl hello, I have had two failed marriages before the age of 30, which is indeed a very sad thing. You say you want to quit your job, but your family doesn't agree. I don't know if you realize why you, as an adult, need your family's consent to work. Just like in your first marriage, you met a husband who would be abusive, and your family did not approve of your divorce, so you chose to compromise. I don't know if you have ever asked yourself, is it that you do not have the right to make decisions for yourself, or are you used to passing the buck to others? Maybe, this is why your marriage will fail. Then let's analyze why you have two failed marriages. The first marriage: You said that you had to get married out of wedlock, and this man beat you during pregnancy. It sounds like this man has a very bad character, but with such a bad character, why would you marry him? What did you mean by entering this marriage? What is the purpose? Say you don't love this child, you married a scumbag for him. Say you love this child, you obviously have a stable job, and legally the child will be awarded to the mother within two years of age, but you still haven't taken him away. So, what are you for? For the sake of the child, it seems not, and for this man, much less. From this point of view, it can be seen that you are a woman who does not know how to be responsible for herself. Let's look at your second marriage: you have been entangled with his daughter a dozen times before, and finally you said that you were married because you loved him too much. But I feel that it is not that you love him too much, but that he loves you too much. After all, the reality is that you didn't accept his daughter because you loved him, but he put her in her mother's house because he loved you. He is willing to do this for you, and it can be seen that in your relationship, he is the one who compromises and makes concessions. Then he gave in so much, and even chose to compromise on his daughter's problems. Before you broke up more than a dozen times, he also tried his best to keep you. And in your letter, you also said that it was really good when you were just married, and he didn't break his promise and didn't bring his daughter to live with him. So why has he made concessions everywhere, and your marriage has not lasted for two months? He even gave in, compromised to anger towards you, scolded your parents and told you to get out of his house? What idea did you, and your parents, give you to make him so angry. And you say that he finds various reasons to quarrel with you, is he finding reasons to quarrel with you, or do you always provoke him because of various things? For example, he said that you don't bring children and don't visit his parents. Is this true? I thought of a scene like this: Since he promised you a two-person world before marriage, you strongly objected when he proposed that you go to your mother's house with him to see the children after marriage. You may not only object, but blame him for not keeping his word because he promised you before marriage that you wouldn't have to coax children. You may even want him to stop seeing the kids, or see them less often. As well as his contact with the child, caring about the child you will feel angry. I don't know if my description above is correct or not, but this is the best explanation for why he will file for divorce from you two months after marriage. To put it bluntly, it means that you are arrogant and arrogant, and you have to make an inch. And he couldn't bear it. Of course, he is also at fault, and his fault lies in having illusions about you. I think before he married you, he probably naively thought that you would love the house and Wu after marriage, and your attitude towards children would change, and you would be willing to slowly accept his children. But the reality is that instead of accepting, you are trying to deprive him of his love for the child. As for what you think he is showing off his ex-girlfriend's kindness to his daughter in front of you, I think it may not be a show, but a confession. He regrets why he was obsessed with giving up the child and choosing you. As for getting divorced after two months of marriage, you feel ashamed, but if he gave up so much and then divorced, he felt even more ashamed. Finally to answer your question, what do you ask me to do? I can only tell you that a person can only find a solution if he realizes what is wrong with him. You don’t feel that you have any problems now, it’s all someone else’s problems, so what can you change? I don't know what everyone will think? What advice would you give her? If you are like her and face failed relationships time and time again, please send me a private message. I will help you find out where your problems were before and teach you how to get a better relationship.

(Responsible editor:Rich young woman)

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