A man who doesn't love you will never care about these 3 things

time:2022-10-02 04:56:54 source:chloeaktas.com author:Graduate girl
A man who doesn't love you will never care about these 3 things

I often see some girls asking for help on the Internet, saying a lot of words, and finally asking her boyfriend if he loves her. When we doubt whether a person loves us, in fact, we already have the answer in our hearts, but we are lucky and want to hear others say that he loves me. My friend Xinxin once confided to me about her emotional experience. Xinxin and her boyfriend are primary school classmates. The two have not contacted each other since graduating from primary school. Later, they met again because of the connection between their friends. After meeting, the two felt that each other was not bad, so they tried to date. At first, Xinxin, who was in love, was in a good mood every day. She put her mind on her boyfriend every day, and always picked up her mobile phone from time to time to see if the other party was looking for her. I said, "Why do you always see if he's looking for you? You can do other things." Xinxin said embarrassedly, "Since I fell in love with him, I didn't want to do anything, I always wanted to hold my phone. See if he sends me a message. If I get his message, I'll be very happy; but if he doesn't send me, I'm not interested in doing anything." I told Xinxin that she was in a bit of a state. Dangerous, you should divert your attention and focus more on yourself. After a while, I chatted with Xinxin again and asked them how they were doing recently. Xinxin said that they had broken up, and it was her who brought up the breakup. I was very puzzled: "You clearly like him more, why did you take the initiative to break up?" Xinxin came to the reason. At the beginning, the other party was ok with her, and then slowly, the other party hit her from time to time, derogatory. she. For example, the other party will say, look at the clothes you are wearing, look like your aunt's; you don't know how to put on makeup, look at other girls wearing makeup; your eyes are wide open, like a shrew, and so on. In short, the other party would point out Xinxin's shortcomings every day, and it seemed that Xinxin had no brilliance or merit in his eyes. After listening to Xinxin's words, I said: "You are right to choose to break up. A person who can only see your shortcomings and can't see your strengths at all doesn't love you that much. Even if you are reluctant to be together in the future, you have to Have a strong enough inner capacity, otherwise it will be very painful." Compared with her colleague Yuan Yuan, she is just the opposite of Xinxin. Yuan Yuan and her husband are very affectionate. I also asked her how to love each other. She said that her husband praised her every day and looked at her wherever she was. Occasionally, her husband also thought she was cute. The examples of Yuanyuan and Xinxin tell us: a man who truly loves you will feel hello from the bottom of his heart, that you have your own beauty and light, and will magnify your advantages. From the example of a friend, I've come up with three ways to tell if a man loves you. 01

Really see the good in you

If a person loves you, he will unconsciously see the good in you , will praise you from the bottom of your heart, and at the same time feel that you are not good enough, resulting in inferiority complex. Qu Xiaoxiao in the TV series "Ode to Joy", she is so enthusiastic, she is not afraid of anyone, but she is planted in the hands of Dr. Zhao. After getting to know Dr. Zhao, she has always felt that Dr. Zhao is full of advantages, knowledgeable, handsome, good at work, and good personality. She did not allow others to say something about Dr. Zhao's bad. Although Dr. Zhao didn't like her much at first, she still tried her best to pursue Dr. Zhao. Although she felt inferior around Dr. Zhao, she bravely took the step in her heart. She couldn't catch up with Dr. Zhao in her studies, so she worked hard to do a good job in her career and strive to match Dr. Zhao. No matter what you are, you can see your strengths and work hard to improve yourself and try to match yourself with you. This is the expression of true love for you. But in real life, most of the people we meet are either ordinary men or scumbags who negatively brainwash their girlfriends, which is what we often call emotional manipulation. They brainwashed their girlfriends: you are so fat and ugly, who would want you but me? What else do you do besides spending money and ruining your family? You are not in good shape, your skin is not white, you don't look good in anything, etc. They tried to beat their girlfriends mentally and verbally and make them surrender to him. It's okay for girls who are assertive. They can stop their losses in time when they see this kind of man. And a girl who is not strong enough in her heart will gradually feel that she is not good or bad when she hears the other person say this about herself, and even really think that no boy wants her except her boyfriend. The performance of a man like this is obviously not love. A person who says that you are not good here and there every day, he will only see your shortcomings, how can he expect him to love you more? True love is love where you can praise each other and see each other's strengths, not when I don't like you, you make me want to vomit. 02

I care about your emotions very much

Let's take "Ode to Joy" as an example. In the second part, Andy is in a bad mood because of his father and brother , Xiaobao will always come to solve Andy in time, comfort her in time, and reassure her. This shows that a boy who really loves you will care about your emotions very much, and will not let you be sad and unhappy alone. We will find that mothers who suffer from depression during pregnancy after giving birth basically do not get much attention from their husbands. He is too tired to take care of the baby, he doesn't care; he has a disagreement with his mother-in-law, but he doesn't resolve it or communicate; he feels uncomfortable and wants to talk to someone, but he thinks you are hypocritical. These are the original sins that cause the mother's mood to get worse and worse, and eventually rise to depression. Those men who love their wives enough will take on the responsibility of fathers, help take care of the baby, feed milk powder, and change urine when their wives are pregnant. Not wet, put the child to sleep, and pay attention to the wife's mood in time. Wives who can be cared for by such husbands are basically less likely to suffer from depression. Some might say that my husband is too nervous to notice my emotions. You know, no one is born careful, the key is whether he really wants to care and care about your emotions. Yuan Yuan said that several times she dreamed of her deceased grandma and woke up crying. She called her husband who was at work, and her husband took time to call her to comfort her, tell her not to be sad, and go back to her. Make delicious food. Isn't this what love looks like? A man who doesn't love you will either pretend to be invisible, or say you're just a dream, what's there to cry about. If you look closely, you can see the difference. 03

Resolve emotional problems in a timely manner

Have you ever met a boy who disappeared without a trace after a fight, leaving you alone and sad? You asked him, "Why didn't you come to coax me?" He said, "I'll let you calm down. When you calm down, you don't have to coax you." Talking to him, he will never take the initiative to talk to you, abruptly intensifying the contradiction and making the contradiction more and more. People who don't love you like to run away when they encounter problems, and are used to letting you solve them by yourself. He doesn't care if you are happy or not. Take Andy and Xiaobao as an example. Andy and Xiaobao always encounter relationship problems, and Xiaobao will immediately come to solve the problem and not let the problem be put on hold, which makes Andy more and more assured of him and more and more dependent on him. Graduate roommate Weiwei told me her story. She broke up with her ex-boyfriend because he liked cold violence and did not solve problems when they encountered them. As long as the two of them quarreled, he would not take the initiative to speak for more than ten days, nor would he look for Weiwei. At first, Weiwei felt that since she was the one who chased him first, she would take the initiative to solve the problem, just bear with it and let it go. Later, after more than half a year, the other party is still like this, even if he knows that Weiwei will take the initiative to find him, he will not take the initiative to solve the problem. After countless quarrels, Weiwei realized that the man in front of her didn't love her at all, so she reluctantly broke up with him. In fact, what the girl wants is only the attitude of the other party, and she takes the initiative to lower her head, and after her anger subsides, she will reason with her again, and the problem will basically be solved. To judge whether a man loves you or not, don't look at it from a single dimension. For example, he was willing to pay me money; he was very good at talking, or he would do more housework. Instead, it should be considered comprehensively from multiple dimensions, not only on his own quality, but also on his attitude and way of treating you. Only by looking at it from multiple dimensions can we not be deceived. Author | Nancy Anhui University Master of Translation, through the third-level translation of the Personnel Department, in-depth research in the field of gender emotions, good at finding and solving problems from emotions, so that more people can be aware of and become a better self.

(Responsible editor:Working women)

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