A beautiful love must meet these three conditions, which subverts the imagination of many people

time:2022-10-02 05:43:13 source:chloeaktas.com author:Graduate girl
A beautiful love must meet these three conditions, which subverts the imagination of many people

The film and television dramas in the summer vacation were fiercely fought. "Canglan Jue", an oriental fantasy sweet drama that was not favored at first, broke out like a dark horse, and gained both word-of-mouth and popularity, and even gained a Douban score of 7.7 high score. Especially in the latest episodes on the discussion of intimacy, the characters of the male and female protagonists can be called the ceiling of the ancient puppets in recent years, which really shows us what love looks like with equality and mutual respect. Just watching the first few episodes of "The Canglan Jue", I thought it was no different from other brainless love sweet pet dramas. The male protagonist is the biggest devil in the Three Realms, with the highest force value in the Three Realms, and the enemy can be wiped out with the touch of a finger, while the female protagonist is a fairy who has been transformed into a humanoid, timid, simple and kind. In the first half of the play, the male protagonist, for some unavoidable reasons, dotes on the female protagonist, is used to the female protagonist, pays for the female protagonist, and satisfies all her demands, which is completely a fantasy version. The domineering president satisfies the fantasy of women who want to be unconditionally favored by others. If you think that this is the core of the show, you underestimate it too much. Most of the idol dramas are good in the first half, the stage when the male and female protagonists are ambiguous and pulling each other, but this drama reaches the second half of the episode, which is unstoppable. The hero and heroine confirmed their intentions and planned to be together before the high-energy part of the show really came. According to the world view of the story, the male protagonist is the highest authority of the Moon Clan, and the Moon Clan and the Immortal Clan where the female protagonist belongs have hated each other for generations, and intermarriage is not allowed unless the female protagonist accepts the torture of the Moon Clan. According to the general hegemony plot, the female protagonist is naturally cared for by the male protagonist. The male protagonist eliminates all difficulties for the female protagonist, and it is absolutely impossible for the female protagonist to suffer. The male protagonist of this play did this at the beginning. But the female protagonist, the soft and weak little orchid, contributed the most glorious moment of the character design, she told the male protagonist rationally: "If I want to stand upright with you, I must take my responsibility. The respect and recognition I want is to be won by myself, not by you. What I want most is not jewelry, not your love for me, but your respect for my choice.” So The male protagonist, the most domineering and domineering president of the Three Realms, gave the most equal and respectful love: allowing his delicate lover to endure the most painful punishment, allowing her to suffer. After this episode was broadcast, the response was great. Little Orchid's elaboration on what love is and what is a healthy intimacy relationship is deafening. It subverts many people's previous concepts about intimacy: Isn't loving someone for his own good and making him happy? The domineering president falls in love with me and is willing to meet all my conditions. Such a man is exciting. Because of this, there are as many film and television works as the male protagonist keeps pampering the female protagonist. However, this drama takes us to explore what a truly equal intimate relationship should look like? 1. Don't use your own imagination "for you" "For your own good" is probably one of the most common words we hear in relationships. How many people think that if you love someone, you should be good for her, give her the best things first, put her business first, and don't let her suffer or make mistakes. If she doesn't accept her own goodness, she is forced to accept it. This is also the core model of the overbearing president story that has been popular for many years. But in fact, how to be good to oneself, only the parties themselves know, and sometimes some pain and failure need to be experienced by the parties themselves. Some men with good financial conditions do not allow their wives to go out to work and suffer, but to support each other, in the name of being good for each other. At first glance, this is indeed the case. Having a husband and a child at home can avoid the hard work of working, the exhaustion of dealing with people, and the exhaustion of insufficient allocation of time and energy. But, is this good for the other party? For some women, what she needs more may be a sense of achievement in developing her own career, a sense of connection with the outside world, and a sense of self-esteem that you can earn money without relying on others. owned. Just like the female protagonist in "Canglan Jue", what she wants is to pass the test on her own, and get the blessing and respect of the clansmen upright. Understand what the other party really wants, do your best to support and realize it, and allow the other party to have their own pursuits, even if this pursuit is not recognized by themselves, this is a feeling of equal treatment. 2. Mutual benefit and mutual benefit between the two parties In the previous concept, many people felt that to love someone is to sacrifice oneself and fulfill the other party. As long as the other party is good, they can do whatever they want. How many people are moved to tears by this "Little Mermaid"-style love, but if they are really in such a relationship, the person concerned may be depressed. Humans need intimacy because relationships meet certain aspects of our needs. It may be a physical need, it may be an economic need, and more likely it is to meet our spiritual needs. Therefore, a healthy intimate relationship must be mutually beneficial, and only a mutually beneficial relationship can last long. The object of treatment is not to provide idols. No matter how great a person is, there will be a tired day. The effort has never been rewarded, and it will only make people discouraged. Nowadays, when people describe a good relationship, they say "running in both directions", which actually reflects the awakening of the sense of equality. The most beautiful relationship must be when each other is willing to pay for each other, meet each other's needs, and get what they want from each other. This is not "snobby" or "selfish", on the contrary, this is the truest human nature. There are quite a few women who have been instilled with dedication and selfless beliefs since childhood, so that when they grow up, they never dare to ask for anything for themselves in work, in life, and even in intimate relationships. Every time I ask for something, whether it's money, care, or even a vacation for myself, I feel a strong sense of shame. When a person automatically puts himself in a lower position, how can we talk about equality? If you don't respect your own true humanity, how can you expect others to respect you? 3. Allow the other party to be true to themselves. Most of the quarrels between partners that we have seen and heard are attacking the true appearance of the other party. You can't stand me going to bed without washing my feet, and I can't stand you buying bags all day long. You don't like me being angry and petty, I don't like you being cowardly and timid, always trying to calm down when things go wrong... Not allowing the other party to be who they are, and asking the other party to act and do things the way they imagined is also a kind of "Soft violence"? People are inherently diverse, and different family backgrounds and growth environments form different personalities and hobbies for each person. The famous philosopher Russell said: "It is necessary to know that unevenness and polymorphism are the source of happiness", but many people can only accept one kind of person, and always have to set a standard for everything. The other party is required to be self-disciplined, motivated, and polite... What's more, even the clothes your partner wears, the food they eat, the drama they chase, all must be controlled... How can this relationship not be suffocating? But the control of the partner is too much, even if it is temporarily successful, the other side is showing a false side, and this side will always break one day. Just like many women complain, why does their partner look the same when they are chasing after marriage, but another way after marriage? In fact, this cannot simply be judged by the fact that this person is a scumbag, because both appearances are his own appearance. It's just that he knows that you can only accept the better side, so he only shows the better side to you, but you can easily take this part for granted as his complete appearance. And there are some women who don't seem perfect, who may be willful, may be grumpy, may be very aggressive, but have long and beautiful intimate relationships because she shows her true self and is deeply accepted. Today's changes in the values ​​of film and television dramas also reflect changes in the entire society and collective consciousness. We are very pleased to see that people have an increasingly rational and intelligent understanding of intimacy. The position of women in intimate relationships has gradually changed from being subordinate to men, sacrificing and paying for men, to being pampered and loved by men. Today, many people go a step further and begin to pursue a more equal and respectful love, and more and more women are also beginning to pursue the path of self-growth. I believe that through perseverance in learning, more and more people can reap the true ideal intimacy. Author | Zhi Shui Healer, holds the Chinese Academy of Sciences psychological counselor qualification certificate, IHNMA international hypnotist qualification certificate, dedicated to exploring the depth and greatness of human nature. Disclaimer: The pictures in this article are from the copyright owner, and any website, newspaper, TV station, company, organization, or individual may not be used in part or in whole without the permission of the copyright owner.

(Responsible editor:Housewife)

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