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60-year-old mother filed for divorce, 3 children all supported, divorced father lived alone in the basement

time：2023-03-26 14:05:23 source：chloeaktas.com author：Housewife

60-year-old mother filed for divorce, 3 children all supported, divorced father lived alone in the basement

01

Nowadays, more and more children are suffering from mental illness, but the older generation of parents say: we all lived Well done, you are too hypocritical! - But, did they really live well before? Those men who acted out of nowhere, his wife and children endured a hard life, but did not dare to resist because of reasons such as "divorce will be laughed at". Such a family looks peaceful, but is actually riddled with holes. The 60-year-old Aunt Yao (pseudonym) made her three children suffer from varying degrees of depression because she chose to be patient.

02

For Aunt Yao, for most of her 60-year life, she has lived in a state of confusion. Aunt Yao, who was born in the 1960s, had a very difficult life when she was a child. At that time, her parents always gave birth to about 5 children. Everyone could not have enough food and clothing, and their lives were stretched. She was bored to study, but her family's economic conditions were too poor, she had a lot of knowledge that she didn't understand, and she didn't know how to solve it. She dared not speak to the male teacher for fear of being gossiped. When she was in her 20s, she joined a nearby factory and became a blue-collar worker, driving parts on the assembly line in the workshop. Because of her beautiful appearance, several young men in the workshop were pursuing Aunt Yao. At that time, women who were pursued by multiple men would also be discussed by those around them. Aunt Yao was at a loss and didn't know how to choose a boyfriend. Her parents looked at the young men and chose a fellow to let their daughter associate with him. Because in the eyes of the people at that time, the fellow does not cheat people, and it is no problem to marry him. Both the young man's parents and Aunt Yao's parents came from other provinces. When they talk about things in their hometown, they feel very cordial. The two haven't been in love for a few months, but their parents have negotiated the marriage first. Aunt Yao didn't understand love, so she obeyed her parents' arrangement ignorantly. She just thinks that this young man looks fair and pleasing to the eye, but there is no such thing as liking or love, and suddenly he is about to get married. The dazed Aunt Yao lived with the flow and gave birth to 3 children after marriage. They have 1 daughter and 2 sons, and the husband still wants to have another baby, but Aunt Yao no longer wants to have children. After giving birth to 3 children, Aunt Yao's body has been seriously out of shape, and her lower abdomen is high and bulging, like the fat of an obese person. But Aunt Yao only weighs more than 100 pounds, and her limbs are very slender, but her lower abdomen looks "fat". A lot of good-looking clothes can't be worn, and pre-wedding clothes can't hold this bulge and ugly belly. Aunt Yao is very sad. But her husband didn't speak human words. Not only did he not comfort her, but he taunted her: "You're a mother of three children, so do you still think you're a girl? If you have time to spare, don't hurry up and help the children with their homework." Aunt Yao's education level is not very high. At most, she guides her children to the second grade of junior high school, and the child is in the second grade of junior high school. Aunt Yao obviously finds it difficult to read the children's textbooks, and she can't explain the children's many problems. What about the husband? The education level is lower than that of Aunt Yao, but she has no money to hire a tutor. As a result, once the grades of the three children declined, the husband raised his eyebrows at Aunt Yao, calling her a death star and wanting to kill him and his precious son. Aunt Yao was very angry at first and quarreled with her husband, but she was pushed to the ground by her husband and slapped on the ground. Aunt Yao, who was stunned by the beating, asked her parents for help, but the parents persuaded her to bear it for the sake of the child; she complained to the neighbors around her, but the neighbors said, "I can't help it." The husband knew that she had spoken out about the beating, and it was another severe beating, even with her daughter. Aunt Yao knew that her husband was patriarchal! She didn't know what to do, she could only endure it for the sake of her child. She didn't dare to divorce because her own sister was divorced, and it was obvious that the man was infertile, but everyone was scolding her sister, saying she was a "chicken that doesn't lay eggs". Although her sister gave birth to a boy in the second year of her remarriage, no one changed her name. Aunt Yao lived tremblingly and dared not make her husband angry again. She borrowed a junior high school textbook from a friend. In her spare time at work, she taught her children's homework by herself. In the evenings, she tutored her children with homework, trying to solve problems that she didn't quite understand. Even so, the husband didn't appreciate it, and instead started drinking heavily, and even had an extramarital partner outside, often not returning home at night. Instead, Aunt Yao felt that it was better for her husband not to go home, so that she could sleep peacefully. Later, the children went to college, graduated and found jobs, but no one wanted to come home. The three children, without exception, invited Aunt Yao out of the house to meet secretly. They all said that they did not want to see their father again, that they had gone to a psychiatrist and suffered from varying degrees of depression. Aunt Yao, 60, doesn't understand what depression is, let alone why her children are persuading her to divorce. She felt that she had been through it all her life, and now that they are both old, even if her husband did so many **** things when he was young, it would be cruel to abandon him and his children to not give him old age. Unexpectedly, the husband knew that the children secretly met with Aunt Yao. Her husband, who had not been rough for many years, was furious, grabbed Aunt Yao by the collar and slapped her twice. Aunt Yao's mood suddenly returned to the years when she was just married, and the pain was suddenly awakened after many years. Aunt Yao understood why the children suffered from depression. In fact, she herself was already ill, but she ignored her own feelings. Aunt Yao filed for divorce from her husband, and the children went home to support their mother as soon as they found out. They were so excited that they clapped the table and shouted: "Get him out of the house! He's not worthy of being our father!" The father was frightened when he saw this, but he was too old to beat the children anymore. . After the divorce, my father didn't have much money, so he could only rent a damp and dark basement to live in.

03

Men often say that "the prodigal son will return for nothing", and this sentence itself exudes a stench. First of all, only men can be "prodigal sons", and behind their so-called youthful frivolity, there are often one or more women with broken hearts. Even women who are hurt both physically and mentally, and even innocent and poor children. One: To endure the evildoing of your husband, you often have to pay a painful price. There is a word called "woliheng", which refers to certain people who are submissive in front of outsiders, and are cunning and arrogant towards their acquaintances and family members. Such people are often dismissed as unpromising, lacking in backbone, and they are completely bullied and afraid of hardship. But many people ignore that a man's "worship" at home means that his wife and children have become the targets of his bullying, and they must accept the negative energy he radiates and bear his malice. This is a very scary thing. Especially the kind of woman who does not dare to divorce happily, she can only take her children with her and continue to endure the hurt of her husband. When this kind of pain accumulates to a certain extent, it will always push people to the point where they can no longer bear it, and at that time, vicious incidents often occur. For this, the price women and children have to pay is even greater. It is better to divorce as soon as possible and stop the loss in time. Two: A bad marriage will not only make adults miserable, but there are always some people who naively think that the disharmony between husband and wife is just a matter between husband and wife. They always seem to feel that their children are heartless, as long as the father and mother exist, they don't need a harmonious and happy healthy life, they just need these two people to appear in the child's life. In fact, for the vast majority of normal children, if their parents quarrel and fight every day, it is better to get a divorce as soon as possible. No one wants to live in an unstable environment and keep their nerves on edge. Home is a warm harbor, not a savage battlefield, and should not be filled with an atmosphere of tension. What children need is a safe space to live and study, not a roof that looks at other people's faces with trepidation at any time. A bad marriage between parents is not only torturing each other, but also torturing their children together. Children who grow up in this environment will most likely have psychological problems, ranging from anxiety and irritability to depression and mania. The most frightening thing is that parents feel that they are not getting divorced because of their children, and that blaming their children for mental illness is not giving them face. Text/Fenghua

(Responsible editor：Graduate girl)

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